Taric and Ahri's Dating Service
by F0URCE
Summary: Taric and Ahri have decided to start a dating service for the champions of the League who want someone special in their lives. Hilarity and mishaps ensue. Rated T for language. Cover image done by Hir0.
1. Chapter 1: Ekko's Dilemma

Hey everyone. This is the first fanfic I'm doing on this website, so please have mercy. Feel free to review and stuff, it'll help me make better stories for you to enjoy. I'd like to keep the characters true to their personality and lore, so if I slip up, please tell me in a review.

* * *

The Zaunite vigilante shifted on the oak chair nervously. The place wasn't scary to him. Not at all. He'd taken down scum twice his size on the streets of Zaun, with enough hextech modifications on their bodies to make Viktor's heart swell in pride. Sure, the giant yellow robot behind the counter was a little unnerving, but there was no way a snow-white waiting room furnished simply with some wooden chairs, a sofa, and a magazine-topped coffee table could do anything to scare Ekko. No, he was nervous for other reasons.

"Number six, Taric and Ahri will see you now," Blitzcrank stated, his robotic monotone filling the room. The door to the duo who ran the place swung open, and Talon and Quinn (and Valor) walked out, arm in arm. Quinn's face was slightly flushed and sported a beaming smile, and Talon was redder than the Infernal Drake, yet a faint smile played on his lips as the couple left the waiting room. Ekko watched them as he rose and began walking.

Maybe, he thought to himself. Maybe this just might work.

He entered, and was greeted by the champions who were positioned behind the teak desk. Taric had his usual charming expression as he looked Ekko in the eye, and Ahri was absent-mindedly spinning her orb on her finger like a basketball. He scoped out the room, and it was surprisingly normal, given it belonged to flamboyant man who had many a debate on his sexuality surround him, and a seductive fox-woman with nine tails. It was like any other office, with a bookshelf that held various novels and handbooks, a window with the curtains drawn back, some boardroom chairs, and few pictures of landscapes of Ionian forests and Freljordian mountains. He did see a vase of Ionian wildflowers in the corner, and few gemstones littered on the desk, so he could be ascertained that this room was, indeed, theirs.

"Ah, Ekko. I was suspecting that you would turn up sometime," Taric began, the smile never leaving his face. "Yeah, a teenager like you has to have a crush on _someone_ ," Ahri continued, peering at Ekko out of the corner of her eye as the orb continued to spin. Ekko took a seat, his eyes averted in embarrassment. "Y-Yeah, so..." Ekko began to speak, but was interrupted by Taric loudly clapping his hands together, making him jump. "To business then, shall we?" Taric said, and leaned over, staring intently at Ekko. Ahri had stopped playing with her orb and had turned to face Ekko directly, with the same look as Taric. Ekko began sweating as their eyes seemed to pierce into his very soul. It didn't matter how nice they were off the Fields of Justice. Taric had sent two brawling armies running for the hills to save a goddamned flower, and he had been hit in the face with Ahri's orb enough times to know that the damn thing _hurt_.

"Who is the object of your affections, Ekko?" Taric said, the intensity in his voice making Ekko shudder. "We must know" Ahri continued, her usual sensual purr replaced by the tone of a woman who would stop at nothing to have what she wanted. Ekko gulped. "J-Ja-" He never got to finish as Taric and Ahri turned to each other and began talking in a fervor. The teen sat there dumbfounded` as he watched the Shield of Valoran and the Nine-Tailed Fox argue heatedly.

"Jarvan?" Taric proposed, only to get a shake of Ahri's head. "No way, they barely know each other. I'm thinking Jax." Ekko was about to object and get back to what he was saying, but was once again cut off by the Shield of Valoran. "Oh, pooh! They know each other even less! I'm thinking Jayce." Ekko, infuriated that they even considered that arrogant loser to be the one he loved, stood up and screamed at the bickering champions.

"NO, YOU IDIOTS! I'M IN LOVE WITH JANNA!" The duo stared at him in silence and amazement. Ekko, realizing what had just happened, turned a deep crimson and sat back down. "It's Janna. I like Janna." Every time he said her name, his face grew a little redder. He couldn't help it. She was just so kind and just so beautiful, which was only complimented by her origin from _Zaun_ , which had turned out psychotic freaks like Mundo and Singed, and those two weren't even the half of it. The fact that someone like her could come from such a scum-filled pit of depravity gave him hope that Zaun just might have a promising future. It was impossible for him to _not_ like her.

The pair's faces split into wide grins. "Ah, you have a splendid taste in women, young man," Taric said, his face gleaming with approval. "Of course! I was blind to not think you wanted someone to support you in a relationship," chimed Ahri, snickering mischievously when Ekko went as red as one of Taric's rubies. "W-Well, now that you know, can you please help me out? I would even be here if I wasn't that desperate. " Taric nodded in assent, and reached over and patted Ekko's shoulder. "But of course! After all, that is what the two of us do." Taric drew himself up in pride, and Ahri followed suit. "Count on us, Ekko. We'll handle it."

Ekko began to see that glimmer of hope. These two would make things work. They had to. "So, then, when will you guys start? And is there a fee?" Ahri smiled at him reassuringly, her ears twitching. "We begin now! Don't you worry about a thing. And as for the fee, we charge based on how hard we think the job will be. Which, in your case, will be..." The fox-woman looked up thoughtfully, till Taric spoke up. "3000 gold should suffice. Getting two virtuous Zaunites together should hardly be anything to sweat about. Is that fair?" Ekko's eyes bugged out. "3000?! That's dirt cheap! That's only a hundred more than a Morello's!" Ahri smiled slyly. "So, is it a deal?" "Of course it's a deal! Thank you two so much!"

Taric leaned back in his chair with a satisfied look on his face. "Now, we will require one day to decide our strategy. Please return then, agreed?" Ekko nodded vigorously. Taric got up and extended his hand, and Ekko rose and grasped it. "Well then, to our success, Ekko. We'll be seeing you tomorrow." Ekko nodded, and with a final word of thanks, turned and left the office. As he walked through the waiting room and past the Great Steam Golem, he smiled contentedly. He believed in the pair beyond the door behind him, bizarre as they were. They would make sure that Janna would be there to stand by his side. He just knew it.

* * *

And that's it. Chapter 1 finished! I was inspired by this old fanfic that I think is still there on this website, where Taric ran a dating service. I mainly picked these two out of all people since they both had something to do with love and beauty and stuff like that, and they're also two of my favorite champions in the game. Anyway, I'm planning on wrapping this Ekko arc up in Chapter 2, which will go up in about a week at most, so please stick around to read it. Reviews are much welcomed, so please feel free to make one and help me make better content. You guys could also let me know which pairing you want to see happen in Chapter 3, so let me know in a review so I can make a poll!


	2. Chapter 2: Hourglass in the Wind

Here's Chapter 2! With this, Ekko's little adventure comes to a close. I'm planning on waiting for a few days before working on Chapter 3 so that more of you guys can tell me about who you want to see next. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

"Taric?"

"Yes?"

"What does this have to do with anything about Janna? Like, at all."

The Boy Who Shattered Time crossed his arms and glared at both the League's own Fabio and the mass of clothes he had in his hands. "Shouldn't you be doing something like, I dunno, telling Janna how much of a great guy I am?" Taric scoffed at this. "Please! My word means nothing. If you want Janna to love you, you're the one who has to work for it, no?" Ekko sighed and slumped his shoulders.

"Maybe you're right, but why are we here in Taliyah's clothing store, of all places?" Ekko turned around to survey the fitting room. It was obviously Shuriman in design, with sand colored walls and some ancient-looking symbols kept on the walls. There was a single mirror in the room with a golden frame. He hadn't known that Taliyah even a clothing store to begin with. And it was probably doing well, since the fabrics Taric held seemed pretty fancy.

Taric's eyes narrowed. "What do you think we're here for? You're getting a change of clothes." Ekko pulled back, clutching his scarf protectively. "What?! These clothes are perfectly fine!" Taric shook his head in disagreement. "Clothes make the man, Ekko, and those clothes make you look like a thug with a steampunk fetish. True, you'd look good in Zaun, but this is the Institute of War, and you'd do good to follow the presentable trends. Do you think Janna would appreciate such a ridiculous outfit?" Ekko gulped. Taric had him there. "O-Okay, I'll... wear something different. " Taric beamed, glad that the young Zaunite saw things his way.

"Perfect! Now, strip."

Ekko stared at the man in front of him. "Excuse me?" Taric stood there, the near-perpetual smile directed at Ekko. "You heard me, strip. I need to see which clothes will suit you best." Ekko recoiled in fear and shock. Was this guy for real? Were the rumors true? "No way! I'm not taking off my clothes in front of you! I'll pick my clothes out myself!" Taric drew himself up to his full height, his expression now one of sheer annoyance. "Ekko," he began. "You have to trust me on this. Take your clothes off." "No!" Ekko growled, glaring at Taric in defiance.

Taric closed his eyes and sighed. "Then, it can't be helped..." Ekko looked at him, confused, noticing that the room was getting brighter. He looked down, and saw the glowing sapphire in his hand too late. A bright flash blinded the teen, making him scream. He felt hands all over his body, but his eyes hurt too much for him to care. "Ah, there we are..." He heard Taric say. When he could finally open his eyes again, he blanched upon seeing his clothes in a heap at Taric's feet, and the man smiling at him in an amused fashion. As Ekko reached the horrifying conclusion that Taric had manhandled him, relieved him of all his clothing, and that he was now standing in front of the Shield of Valoran completely naked save for his underwear, his vision began to dim till all was black, and he fell over like a sack of potatoes, completely unconscious.

* * *

"Ah, it appears he's waking up." Ekko groggily opened his eyes to the sight of Ahri, Taric, and Shen looking down at him in concern, the Ionian ninja in his medical attire. What was he doing here? This was probably the hospital, given Shen's presence. But what had happened before? There was a room with clothes in it, and there was a guy who looked a lot like Taric, and he didn't have any clothes on, and... Oh. Ekko remembered. He remembered everything. The poor teenager got up with a jolt and began screaming in horror, his eyes filled with panic. Ahri immediately grabbed his shoulders to calm him down.

"It's okay! Everything's okay! Taric didn't molest or rape you in any way!" "How the hell should I know?! I was out cold! He could have done anything he damn well pleased!" Ekko shrieked, shrinking away from Taric. The man chuckled sheepishly. "Do forgive me. You just failed to comply with what I needed you to do, and I simply had to take action." Seeing that the teenager hadn't stopped looking like a cornered animal, he sighed. "If you still don't believe what Ahri said, I believe this should put your fears to rest." The man reached into his pocket, and pulled out a sheet of paper - no, a photograph. He turned it around so Ekko could see what it was, and the boy's eyes bugged out. Taric was sitting in Morgana's bakery, looking happier than ever, feeding chocolate cake to a blushing Diana. Ekko wondered how the hell this could ever be possible as he stuttered, "B-But, y-you... Aren't you...supposed to be...?"

Taric laughed aloud. "Gay? Ah, everyone loves making that conclusion, given what I wear on the Fields of Justice and my personality. Funny, how just showing a great passion for the beautiful things in life can get you labeled as a homosexual. You don't know how amusing it is when I'm laning with a male Marksman! Poor fellows stay so far away my Bastion won't even touch them!" The Shield of Valoran laughed again. Ekko still couldn't believe what was happening. "But... Diana..." Taric laughed again. "Ah, yes. She is such a wonderful young woman. Poor thing is just somewhat misunderstood. But once you get to know her..." Ekko was finally beginning to calm down. "So... You're not..." "Not at all. The man you see before you is 100% straight." Taric smiled reassuringly, and Ekko finally let out a deep breath in relief.

"Also, while you were unconscious, I took the liberty of completely reworking your appearance Please, do look at yourself now." Hearing this from Taric, Ekko spun around to conveniently face a mirror which Ahri had brought in. His jaw dropped. His tan vest had been replaced with a long sleeved shirt of the same color, and instead of his red scarf, a small necklace with a cog strung through it was in its place. His baggy pants were gone, and a blue pair of jeans were on his legs now. His boots had also been removed, and two black sneakers were now what covered his feet. Finally, his mohawk had been turned into the pompadour on his Academy skin. Surveying himself in the mirror, he had to admit: he looked good.

"This is… I look great," Ekko said, still marveling at his new appearance. "It was the least I could do for scaring you so terribly earlier." Taric bent his head in apology. "Y-Yeah, and, uh, thanks. I didn't think I could ever this… Nice. I'm really thinking I should have just gotten rid of my clothes back then." The Shield of Valoran chuckled. "I am glad to hear it. Now then," he stood up, and helped Ekko off the bed. "We have figured out your wardrobe, but now it is time to see how your manners fare." He began to lead the teen out of the ward with Ahri, stopping by the door to turn around and give Shen a word of thanks. The ninja bowed his head, happy to be of service. As he watched the trio leave, he thought to himself. Maybe. In some time, he just might go and see those two.

* * *

The street didn't stand out much. It was like any other street out there, with its share of buildings, some shops, some hotels, and the admittedly rare nightclub, so it was pretty much a typical street in the Institute of War. A few people were on the pavement, minding their own business as they went on with their daily lives. These 'few people' also happened to hold a sparkling hunk of a man, a nine-tailed fox woman, and a time travelling teenager. "So, what do I do?" Ekko asked, turning around. He really didn't want to get on the wrong side of Taric or his gems again.

"Simple really. Just walk to the end of the street and back, " Taric replied. Ekko's eyes narrowed. This was a suspiciously mundane thing to do. "That's it?" ''That's it," Ahri replied. The teen gave their faces a once-over. Not a single bit guile lay in their eyes. He sighed and shrugged. He might as well do it. It couldn't be too hard.

He began to stroll leisurely down the pavement, hands in his pockets, running his eyes over the entrance to shops that managed to catch his attention. He was feeling better about this little task. Nothing terrible had seemed to happen so fa-

"Ekko? Is that you?"

His blood ran cold. He felt his heartbeat pick up the pace as his face grew warmer. Those bastards. He knew that this wasn't some walk in the park. He slowly turned to his side to face the speaker. Standing in front of him, blonde hair floating in the wind, was Janna. Her signature white outfit left very little to Ekko's imagination as he stared at her, entranced. "Ekko?" she asked, cocking her head in concern. Ekko quickly composed himself to the best of his efforts, and stammered, "H-Hi. It's nice t-to see you here." His face was getting redder by the second. He was going to strangle those two the second he got out of this. "Are those new clothes? You look so nice!" Hearing Janna compliment his appearance made his animosity towards Taric wither away in an instant. And to hear her complimenting him in general made him feel fuzzier than a Poro on the inside. "Y-You think so? Th-Then-"

He stopped upon hearing a giggle behind him. He whirled around, and saw Ahri in front of him, desperately trying to hold in her laughter. He felt his hands shaking in anger. Did this idiot have any idea what she was doing? She could damn well be ruining his only chance to get Janna to go on a da-huh?

The fox had raised a hand from her sides and twirled it around. Turn around, she seemed to be telling him. Confused, he complied, and shrieked in horror, recoiling from the newcomer in front of him. Gone was the floating blonde hair. Gone was that perfect skin. Gone was that incredibly revealing outfit. Standing in the place of the girl of his dreams stood LeBlanc, sporting an incredibly amused grin as her chin rested on the top of her staff.

"L-LeBlanc?! What the fu-" He was silenced by the meaty finger of Taric. "Now now, Ekko. The good lady is merely part of your training." Ekko stood there, dumbfounded. "But… What…?" LeBlanc laughed in her high-pitched, condescending manner. "I work with these two. I'm in charge of seeing how the client reacts when they see their target. And your reaction..." She suppressed another fit of laughter. "Was very, very amusing. Most of them tend to be that way." Seeing how humiliated the poor boy was, Ahri patted him on the shoulder. "Hey, you did good! Your back was straight, you kept eye contact, and your hands were out of your pockets! That's pretty much what you need when talking to a lady." Ekko noticed that what she said was true. Taric laughed. "Ah, it appears that there is no need for training in etiquette, save for some quick tips at a table. Ekko." The boy turned to face the Shield of Valoran, who was wearing a satisfied smile of approval. "I hereby deem you ready to go on a date!"

* * *

Ekko pushed the door to the cafe open, looking around for the young woman nervously. There she was, several tables away. Janna had ordered a latte and was sipping it idly while reading a magazine. He sighed internally in relief when he saw she was alone. She was wearing a light blue jumper and jeans, along with white trainers. On the table was small white handbag she probably got from a Demacian store. Her hair was floating close to her body, her golden locks almost glowing in the gentle ray of the evening sun, and he marvelled at the mystical, yet conventional beauty that Janna held. He walked inside, taking care not to get noticed by her, looking for a table nearby. He made the smallest of fist pumps upon seeing a vacant one nearby. Ahri's advice of pretending to go to a table and stopping at another's in 'surprise' seemed like it would work. Stepping to the counter, he ordered a cappuccino. After paying and thanking the barista once it arrived, he walked as casually as he could towards the vacant table, making sure he was choosing a path that would get close to her table. He thanked Ahri under his breath for all these tactics she would usually employ on an unsuspecting young man before doing... Whatever she did to get essence, he didn't know. As he got closer, he gave a silent pull on the chain of his Zero Drive, which he had insisted on bringing, setting a waypoint in case things went awry. He was not screwing this up.

"Oh, Janna, hi!" he greeted, getting her to look up from her magazine. She smiled at him, making his heart pound. "Oh, hello! I wasn't expecting you to come here, Ekko." He chuckled, trying to hide his embarrassment. "W-Well, neither was I. Can I sit?" She nodded, and he thanked her as he took a seat. He looked out of the café window to see Taric, Ahri, Blitzcrank, and LeBlanc watching him from a clothing store to see how things went. He didn't know why the yellow robot was there, but he figured it was probably collecting some data. He also noticed Taric had a satchel at his side, but he decided to focus on his task. Everything was going along smoothly so far. Now he had to capitalize on it.

"So, uh, how's the weather thing going along?" he asked. She giggled. "It's just fine. My boss is always praising just how great I am at the job." "Wow, that's great! I mean, it's like you're meant for it, you know? I mean, you control wind, and stuff." And you're insanely hot, he thought to himself. Her clear laugh rang out, and the slightest tinge of red appeared on his cheeks. "Oh, Ekko, you are far to ki-"

She was cut off by the door the place bursting open. A rough-shod bunch of four men, probably travelers or something, entered, loudly cracking crass jokes and laughing. Ekko felt the customers growing rather annoyed, but Janna seemed to be getting uncomfortable. He looked out to his friends, and they shared a similar look of unease. Eager to calm Janna down, he attempted to get back to the conversation. "So, um, are things going okay for y-" He was interrupted by the loud slam of a hand on the table. Looking up, he saw the four men leering at the two champions. He toyed with the chain to the device at his waist, ready to yank it at a moments notice. Taric was now moving to the entrance of the store, followed by the two women.

"So, what have we here?" the table-slammer asked. He appeared to be the leader of the lot, a fat and ugly piece of work, and Ekko decided that alone, he wouldn't be a threat. However, he wasn't alone, and Ekko had left his bat and Timewinder behind. "A very pretty young damsel, and a scrawny little whelp." His buddies sniggered behind him. Ekko's eyes narrowed. "If it's not too much to ask, I'd appreciate it if you backed off." The leader sneered. "And what might you be doing about that, hm?" He turned to Janna, who was in a mild state of panic. "Come on, girlie. You'll have more fun with us than with this piece of trash." He grabbed the arm holding the magazine, causing it to drop onto the table. Disgusted, she wrenched her arm away from the thug, glaring at him contemptuously. Ekko glanced out of the window, and silently cursed upon seeing the trio getting held up by a mass of horses and carriages. It would take them roughly two minutes to get across the road.

And he didn't have two minutes.

The thug's ugly smile distorted into an infuriated grimace, and he seized a handful of Janna's golden hair, making her scream in pain. Enraged, Ekko stood up, giving a withering glare to the four goons. "Leave. Now." One of them, a lanky punk with a few teeth missing, stepped up and swung a fist. He caught the enclosed hand effortlessly, his eyes boring into the dumbfounded thug. "Should have walked away..." he muttered, as he drew a fist back and threw it forward in a punch, connecting cleanly with his opponent's jaw and knocking him onto the floor, out cold. Shocked, the three men lost interest in the young lady they had been harassing and began stalking towards Ekko. He backed up. He couldn't take on three men at once. He wasn't even armed. Scanning the room, he spotted a man sipping from a mug of steaming coffee, warily observing the conflict from a distance.

Mug of steaming coffee.

He ran for it, jumping any obstructive tables as the three punks cursed and took after him. Reaching the now panicked man, Ekko seized the drink, shouted a quick word of apology, and splashed it into a lackey's face. He fell to the ground, shrieking in agony as the scalding liquid burned him. He flung the mug at the other one's head, shattering it on his skull and making him stagger away in a daze. That left only the leader. He smiled inwardly. These were odds he could handle.

The thug decided to foolishly rush him, throwing a wild haymaker. Ekko ducked it with ease, slinging a punch into the man's beerbelly, eliciting a pained wheeze as the air was knocked out of him. He followed up by slugging him in the face, stunning him, before finally finishing with a powerful kick to the torso. The punk flew back, colliding with a table and unceremoniously flipping over it, settling in an unconscious heap on the floor. He panted heavily as a result of the exertion, hands on his knees. He had won. As he straightened up, he heard a small clatter against the tiles beneath him. Curious, he looked down at the source of the noise.

A glowing emerald.

Shit.

* * *

"My apologies, Ekko. I had no idea you would dispatch those hooligans so quickly," Taric said apologetically. A surly Ekko continued rubbing his eyes to try and get rid of the purple spots dancing in his vision. Taric had kept a collection of gemstones in the satchel just in case something went wrong. And once again, Ekko had been blinded by one of them. "Don't mention it," he muttered.

He heard Ahri whistle. "Yeah, that was really something, how you managed to take out four goons that fast. I honestly thought you were gonna get creamed." LeBlanc chuckled. "Indeed, you fought very well. You also looked quite dashing while you were at it, protecting Janna like that. A truly gentlemanly act."

Janna? Janna!

He slapped a hand to his forehead and feverishly looked around the room, desperately searching for the young woman. He saw her leaving through the door, and jumped out of his seat in pursuit, leaving behind the bewildered champions. Catching up to her on the pavement, he called out, making her whirl around in surprise. They were bathed in the orange light of the sunset as they stared at each other.

"J-Janna," he panted, winded from his sprint. She looked at him with concern. That's it, he thought, crushed. There's no way someone like her would love some troublemaker like him, especially after watching him beat the crap out of four men. He sighed. He might as well apologise for it, and then leave her alone. She would probably be better off and happier with someone else anyway.

"I'm… I'm sorry. That you had to see that," he said, hanging his head in shame. "I did something terrible back there, and you have every right to think I'm no better than those guys I trashed." She watched him in silence. Figures. "I'm sorry," he flatly finished, and turned to leave, depressed.

"Ekko, wait."

He turned around, confused. What could she possibly want with him? "Y-Yeah?" His confusion only grew as he noticed a faint tinge of red staining her cheeks. What the hell was happening? She began stepping forward. His heart was racing as he started going red himself. "Janna? But… Aren't you mad that I-" He stopped upon seeing her shake her head.

"I'm not mad, Ekko. How could I possibly be angry towards someone who put themself at risk to save my skin?" She drew even closer. Ekko could barely think straight. Was this actually happening or was this some delusion? "Besides," she continued, now face to face with the blushing teen. She smiled shyly.

"I thought you were very brave."

Ekko thought his heart would give out. It was pounding harder than Olaf's drumset at a Pentakill concert. "Y-You… A-Ac-Actually think…?" She nodded, blushing. "Of course. And if it's not too much to ask..." she turned away, embarrassed.

"Would you… Go out… On a date? With me?"

His life was complete. Nothing else mattered any more. All there was in Ekko's mind was an unbridled happiness. "O-Of course! I'd love to go on a date with you! I… I..." he stuttered, not sure if he should go through with it. He looked at Janna's blushing face, her expression one of confusion. Should he…?

Oh, what the hell.

He composed himself, plucking up every ounce of his courage. This was harder than prepping to fight any Zaunite thug. "Janna… The thing is… I love you. I've always loved you. I've loved you the second I saw you. You're so nice and so beautiful, I just couldn't resist myself. And to think you actually want to go out with me..." He smiled at the Storm's Fury, who was now a deep scarlet. "It makes me happier than anything else."

They stood in silence, both mulling over the other's words in silent joy. She broke the silence with a giggle. "I… Didn't take you for such a smooth talker, Ekko." Ekko didn't notice the hands on his shoulders till she began to lean in with her eyes closed. What was she-

Everything stopped as their lips met in a kiss.

Ekko's mind went blank. He could die now. He could die now with no regrets, peacefully. He actually thought he might die at that moment, given how his heart was beating faster than Twisted Fate could throw his cards during his Devourer phase. Not that he cared. Dying while kissing the girl he loved seemed like an excellent way to go.

Janna eventually pulled away, giggling upon seeing the Zaunite boy in a shocked stupor. "Well then," she said pulling out a pen and notebook from her handbag. She scribbled something in it, and tore a scrap, placing it into Ekko's pocket. "That's my phone number. Call me whenever you feel like being together." Ekko barely managed to make sense of it in his muddled brain, and nodded dumbly. She began walking away, leaving the blushing teen on the pavement staring after her.

"And one more thing." Ekko, his mind now cleared, stood in rapt attention of her next words as she turned around. "I think I like your normal outfit better." She laughed as Ekko turned a deeper shade of red and looked down in embarrassment, turning back as Janna continued on her way. Ekko watched her as she went, still in amazement of his good fortune.

* * *

When she rounded the corner, he felt a hand clap down on his shoulder. He turned to see the four champions, all of them (save the golem) smiling. "Congratulations, Ekko. You have officially gotten Janna to fall in love with you. I am very proud of you," Taric said, grinning broadly, his hand a vice grip on his shoulder. Ahri seized his cheeks, tugging on them and giggling at his objections. "You looked so cute out there! Amazing!" LeBlanc chuckled. "As that annoying Demacian always says, 'I love it when a plan comes together.'" Even Blitzcrank was patting him on the back, if a little forcefully. Ekko laughed.

"Thanks. All of you. You don't know how much this means to me." He turned to the duo who had even made all of this possible. "Especially you two. I don't know what I would've done without you." They nodded in acceptance of their praise, smiling. "'I'll have the payment ready by tomorrow morning, so I'll see you then." Ekko turned, and began walking away, contented. He'd never felt this happy before. "Goodbye. And again, thank you all." He eventually walked around a corner, and out of sight of the four champions.

The team of four began patting each other on the backs, exchanging words of praise and congratulations on a job well done. Eventually, Leblanc cleared her throat. "Well, I'll be going now. Swain wanted me to pick up some birdseed for that bird of his. I'll also drop Blitz off at the office." Prodding the Great Steam Golem with her staff, the two walked away, leaving the Nine-Tailed Fox and the Shield of Valoran behind. A streetlight flickered to life above them, and they realized that dusk was setting.

Ahri raised a hand towards Taric, and he lightly smacked it in a high five. "And that's another one," she laughed, leaning against the post of the streetlight. "Indeed," he said, still feeling pride to the young man who he had made so happy. "However," he began, getting the fox woman's attention. "Ekko will not be the last one to be pining for someone to share his or her life with." The woman shrugged. "That's right. And it's our job to fix that, eh, big guy?" Taric chuckled. "But of course. And Blitzcrank just so happened to give me list of clients that are seeking our services." He pulled out a folder from his satchel, and Ahri got off the post. "Well then..." both of them simultaneously began, starting their journey back to the office, opening up the collection of requests.

"Back to work."

* * *

Holy hell, this was a long chapter, I honestly didn't expect to write so much, But, there it is. Ekko's arc is over and done with. I'm pretty proud with how it turned out, although I did feel it was pretty damn long. If it felt uncomfortable for some of you to read so much in a stretch, let me know in a review so I can break an arc into smaller pieces. Now, as I said earlier, this story is going on hold for a bit while I look at reviews to see that people want next. I'm intending to start another story and work on it during this intermission between arcs, so keep an eye out for that. Anyway, feel free to leave a review so I can get more ideas and make better content. Thank you all again for reading.


	3. Chapter 3: Star-Crossed Bakers

Taric and Ahri sat behind their desk, sweating nervously. Silence pervaded in the office as the duo exchanged anxious glances, while being glared at by a pair of empty white eyes that belonged a certain Fallen Angel.

Taric, being the gentleman, reluctantly spoke up. "So then, good lady, what brings you here?" He smiled as nonchalantly as he could as Morgana continued giving him the evil eye.

"I think you of all people would know why I am here," she said callously. Taric gulped as Ahri stepped up to the plate.

"I... Guess that's right, Morg! So, uh..." Ahri composed herself and stared into Morgana's piercing white eyes. "Who would... You like?"

The two matchmakers caught sight of the slightest hint of a blush on Morgana's on the pale purple of Morgana's cheeks. "That... That Targonian man."

Ahri stole a worried glance at her partner and winced. What was once a sheen of sweat on his forehead soon turned into a torrent as his eyes showed nothing but sheer panic. He'd gotten steamrolled by the woman far more times than he'd want to admit. She started getting panicked herself as the Shield of Valoran clenched a glowing amethyst in his hand, its brightness amplifying by the second.

"A little more specific?" Ahri asked, furtively scanning her eyes over Taric every few seconds.

"The baker."

The light from the gemstone died as Taric sighed in relief, wiping the sweat off his brow. However, his usual smile was now absent from his face. Ahri groaned. Just mentioning the other to Taric or Pantheon would make them annoyed. Ahri, once again, decided that she needed to speak up.

"Well, what about our little Rakkor did you find attractive?" Ahri questioned, her confidence rising. Conversations like this were where she shone.

"Well, he bakes. I bake. We baked together once, and... He was so nice. It was as though my background of being a malevolent, disgraced angel meant nothing to him. He treated me as he would anyone else. And somewhere along the line in that kitchen, I..." She fell silent, somewhat embarrassed.

"Well, that's... Surprisingly sweet. Anything else?"

"Er, I was actually on the fence for some time due to his being a mortal..." She pulled out a magazine from her dress and opened it on the table. "Then Cassiopeia gave me this."

The matchmakers stared at the page in front of them, completely dumbfounded. Ahri's ears perked up. Taric nearly crushed the gem in his hand. For standing by a pool in nothing but his Speedo and trademark helmet, was Targon's one and only Aspect of War, showing off his chiseled abs and rippling biceps in an unbelievably enticing runway pose. His impeccable pecs and unnaturally well-toned legs seemed to shimmer from the water on them, as did the rest of his body. They continued to stare at the ripped Rakkor in a stupor until the Fallen Angel pulled the magazine off the table.

"At that moment, I knew that he must be mine." The two muttered something about how her decision was a no-brainer under their breaths.

"Well? Will you assist me in this ordeal or not?" Morgana said, glowering at the pair expectantly. Taric, composing himself, cleared his throat.

"Of... Course. We'll help you get together with that senseless warmong-"

The otherworldly chains lashed out, and he would have been choked out on the spot if he hadn't ducked. The evaded Soul Shackles shot over his head and obliterated the window behind him, letting the hilly evening air into the room. As he peeked out from behind the table, his eyes met the soul-piercing glare of a significantly enraged Morgana.

" **DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF HIM, WRETCH** ," she hissed, sending chills crawling up the duo's spines.

However, in spite of her canine nature, Ahri never backed down from a catfight, especially one with a woman who had attacked on of her friends. She growled menacingly as her ball steadily grew brighter with blue light. Morgana vehemently responded in kind as a raised hand shimmered in purple energy.

The posturing continued for about five more seconds till a brilliant purple flash blinded the two women, making them shriek and sink to the floor. Taric looked down disapprovingly on the two as they sprawled on the floor, clutching their eyes. He set the amethyst back onto the table gently.

"Now, as I was saying," he said, showing little concern for the women on the ground. "Ahri and I shall assist you for 4000 gold." A groan of assent came from the blinded angel. He beamed. "Perfect. Now, allow me to take you both to Shen's."

* * *

After dropping off the two disgruntled (and near-blind) women at the good doctor's hospital ward, Taric set off for the place his least favorite Aspect would spend after a long day of battle on the Rift: the bar.

Upon entering Gragas' establishment, he scanned his eyes over the place. He spotted his mark, who was somehow chugging the beverage in spite of the helmet. He walked over and took the seat next to Pantheon.

Immediately, the atmosphere around the Aspects darkened. Any champions at the bar gave them wide berth. Vi and a very wasted Jayce looked up from their drinking contest. Olaf and Tryndamere ceased their arm wrestle and cautiously stared at the two Targonians. All eyes seemed to be on them.

"Why are you here?" Pantheon growled.

"Just asking how the baking is coming along," Taric replied, unintimidated. He ordered some wine from Gragas, who was understandably on edge. "I might get a present for Diana."

Pantheon huffed. As little as he respected the man next to him, the Aspect of the Moon didn't really bother him. Honestly, he wondered why Leona hated her so much. "Nothing much. Just a cake for Ashe and Tryndamere's anniversary. I'm halfway done so far."

Taric sipped his drink. "Sounds hard. Do you have help?"

"Well, there was the owner of Sinful Succulence. Morgana, wasn't it? She assists me in the task sometimes."

Bingo.

"Ah, her. Do you know each other well?"

"Not much. Although she does seem like a decent friend and ally." His red eyes narrowed. "However, she seems very distant whenever we converse. I believe I would like to know her better. And, uh, is something the matter?"

Taric was holding back tears of gratitude as he silently thanked the Protector profusely, as Pantheon stared at him, confused.

"Well then, I believe I may have just the thing for you," Taric said, regaining his composure. The Shield of Valoran pulled out two tickets, which Pantheon stared at curiously.

"These are two tickets to a food exhibition being done by the Institute for champions in two days. Champions go there for eating the delicacies prepared by their fellows and creating some delicacies themselves. Interested?" He waved the two tickets enticingly.

The Artisan of War eyed the tickets in suspicion before taking the tickets. "I do not know your motives, but you seem as though you are willing to help me. So I'll take you up on your assistance."

"Brilliant! I've got spare tickets anyway, so I'll be seeing you there!" Downing the rest of his wine, he left his payment on the table and cheerfully waved a hand at the bewildered Targonian as he left the bar, who dumbly waved back.

Pantheon sighed and shook his head once Taric was gone. "Demacians. Why are they all so weird?"

* * *

"Are you actually serious about me wearing this reproachful garment?" Morgana said, staring at the sundress in Ahri's hands in contempt. The simple piece of clothing was a blinding white, with a lace flower at the beginning of each shoulder strap. Long story short, she thought it was deplorable.

"Of course I am, Morg. How are you going to sweep Panth off his feet without proper clothes?" Ahri shook the dress in her hands. "I mean, do you really think he'll appreciate those clothes on your date!"

"That thing looks hideous," Morgana sniffed.

"Well, maybe you might think that, but with these..." The fox set the dress down and picked up a pair of sandals (also white) and a massive floppy hat (white again) with a black lace flower on it. Morgana backed up to the wall of the dressing room, horrified.

"There is no way in the Void you could ever get me to wear those repulsive things!" She shrieked.

"Morg. Put. Them. On." Ahri growled, tightening her grip on the clothes in her hands. " **NOW**."

Morgana stuck her nose into the air, defiant.

"Fine then." Ahri said softly. She then lunged for the Fallen Angel, who screamed in shock and indignation. The two scuffled violently in the changing room as Ahri tried to yank Morgana's clothes off with force, which Morgana met with clutching onto her clothing in a vice grip, occasionally swinging a fist at the fox, who responded in kind. They continued shrieking and howling as they grappled and wrestled around the room, each dead set on their respective goal as they remained locked in the vicious battle to the death.

* * *

Taliyah and Malphite stared at the changing room's door in fear as the battle between the two women raged on. They heard the screams and howls of rage and shock from both Morgana and Ahri, amidst the pounding on the door, shattering of glass and the tearing of clothing. The young Shuriman looked up at the Shard of the Monolith.

"Should we...?" A rocky hand was put on her shoulder.

"Let's... Let's leave them be."

* * *

Taric whistled a merry Demacian tune as he opened the door to his office, content with the fact that his end of the plan went swimmingly.

"Ladies! I have wonderf-huh?"

He stared incredulously at the two women on the chairs in front of him. Morgana was wearing an odd set of clothes, her hair was a complete mess, and a plethora of bruises, scratches, and a even few bite marks decorated her skin. Ahri was no better, with her clothes tattered and hair ruined, and she had her own set of bruises and scratches, with the odd chain marking here and there. It was as though they had escaped from a brutal and bloody battle left with nothing but their lives

"Wh-What..."

"It was her," they said simultaneously.

* * *

Morgana tugged the edge of the dress irritably. The thing looked and felt comfortable for the most part, but the lace hem simply refused to stop itching. The hat actually did a decent job of shielding her from the afternoon sun, and the shoes weren't all bad either. She gave the hem a few more annoyed pulls, before giving up and focusing on the Targonian at her side.

God, he looked stunning. A red tank top covered his bronze, ripped chest. A pair of brown cargo shorts were what clothed his sculpted thighs, and a simple pair of sandals protected his feet. Morgana tried her best not to stare at the hunk next to her.

The food exhibition itself was rather boring. They decided to refrain from making their own pastries, so they could spend more time with each other, but the entire event failed to catch their attention. Sure, there were some nice dishes from the various corners of Valoran, but most of them were plain and uninteresting. Of course, Morgana didn't mind. She was content with chatting with the burly Artisan of War, and he seemed to feel the same.

Maybe those idiots actually are capable of pulling this off, she thought.

She spotted them various times at various stalls or behind trees. It was quite obvious that they were tailing the couple. She honestly wondered how the two had stuck at 'just friends,' given the amount of time they spent together, but then decided that the answer was quite obvious. Ahri was beautiful, but not in the kind of way that Taric liked, and Ahri was likely to lose interest within a week, given her nature. They did seem to work out better as 'just friends' anyway.

"Morgana, this croissant is rather nice. You should try some." Pantheon's voice snapped her out of her daydream. The two were standing in front of a stall managed by none other than Singed.

She immediately became wary. As a champion that mainly associated herself with Noxus, she knew Singed very well. Well enough, in fact, that she knew that everything he offered was probably spiked with all sorts of horrifying chemicals.

"Singed," she began slowly. "There is nothing in Pantheon's croissant, correct?"

The Mad Chemist shrugged. "Just stuff for flavor." Morgana saw his cheeks rise in a sleazy grin. "If you know what I mean."

She summoned her chains, which dangled loosely from her hands. Singed eyed the ethereal bindings warily. He knew she wasn't messing around.

"Don't toy with me, Singed," Morgana said, with a dangerous edge to her tone. " **What is in Pantheon's croissant?** "

Singed hesitated, before sighing. "Well, it's-"

"Morgana."

The three looked up into the skies, bewildered at the sudden commanding voice. Morgana's heart sank as she saw who it was.

Why can't that wench just mind her own business?

Kayle descended from the skies in full armor. Her holy sword was in her hand, ready for use if needed.

"Tell me, sister," she said. "Why would you have those chains of yours out at a peaceful gathering such as this?"

Both Pantheon and Singed backed away a bit, staring at the siblings in a mixture of caution and fear. A confrontation between the two never ended on a positive note, and at an occasion such as this the consequences would be disastrous.

"And just why are you so intent on interrupting my peaceful alone time?" Morgana hissed.

"Those bindings seem to tell me that your 'alone time' is anything but peaceful." If Kayle's helmet was off, they'd probably be able to see her eyes in a squint.

Pantheon's and Singed's eyes met, and they had a mutual understanding that the confrontation had to be stopped at all costs.

"Guys?"

The two bewildered men turned around to see Taric and Ahri, who were standing by, visibly frightened and nervous. The Aspect of War marched over and seized Taric by the shoulders.

"Help us stop them. **NOW**."

The duo's eyes met, and the four of them began charging to the two siblings, intent on stopping the inevitable brawl that was about to break out.

However, any efforts they might have taken would have been instantly voided by the purple energy that began ominously swirling around Morgana, a clear act of aggression.

"So that's that, then," Kayle declared. Her sword ignited with holy flames.

"Kayle..." Morgana said, her voice dangerously low. "Get. Lost." She gritted her teeth when the Judicator didn't move an inch.

" **NOW**."

Kayle responded with a swing of her sword, sending a mighty fireball at her sister. Morgana effortlessly blocked it with a Black Shield. The Fallen Angel retaliated with bolts of dark energy, which Kayle managed to duck away from. The angel swooped from the skies in a direct charge at her fallen sister. Morgana shrieked in rage before launching a signature Dark Binding at her sister. The spell made contact with Kayles raised blade, setting off an explosion that left the grounds shrouded in dust and falling dirt.

The four bystanders picked themselves off the ground to see the two sisters in a tense staredown. Kayle was bathed in the holy light of her Intervention. Morgana bit back a curse. Both siblings prepared another spell, before launching it at each other.

Pantheon and Singed finally managed to react quicker than the two matchmakers and intervened. Singed leaped in the way of the Dark Binding, effectively using his riot shield to block the brunt of the attack. Pantheon leaped into the path of Kayle's Reckoning raising the Aegis of Zeonia to protect himself and his baking buddy.

The projectile phased through the ancient shield and struck the Targonian Warrior in the chest, searing a hole into the tank top. Pantheon staggered, surprised at the smoke rising from his torso, before crumpling onto the ground.

Morgana stared at Pantheon as he fell, frozen in shock. Her expression then rapidly changed into one of sheer, unadulterated fury and hatred.

"Oh boy," said Taric, Ahri, and Singed.

" **KAAAAAAAAYLEEEEE!** " With a howl of rage, Morgana sent forth her chains at a blinding speed, successfully ensnaring her sister, who was alarmed at the sudden display of raw emotion from her fallen sibling. With a roar of exertion, Morgana yanked the chains over her shoulder, pulling Kayle sky high. The Fallen Angel brought her hands down, yanking the Judicator from the skies and straight into Singed's stall, releasing a massive cloud of dust as the angel smashed the counter into pieces. Taric and Ahri winced at Morgana's brutality. Singed mourned the loss of all his pastries of questionable composition.

"M-Morg...Ana," Pantheon grunted, slowly picking himself off the ground.

Morgana rushed to his side instantly, eyes wide in panic and concern. "Yes? Yes, Pantheon?"

The Targonian suddenly dropped to his knees, his hands raised in a pleading gesture.

"Please, do me the honor of being my lover!"

Three jaws dropped around the kneeling Pantheon. One face went a deep crimson.

"Wha-What is the meaning of-"

Pantheon leapt to his feet. "Seeing you wage such a fierce battle against your sister was simply spectacular! I was simply entranced by the way you moved and fought!" The Targonian appeared to calm down. "And even so, I wanted to get to know you better. I've always seen you as a friend, Morgana."

Pantheon stepped closer to the blushing Fallen Angel. "So please, allow me to be the one who is special in your life."

"I...I..." Morgana was speechless. She'd never expected those two fools to pull this off, but here she was. And because of that, she'd might as well take this opportunity by the throat.

"I'd love to be your girlfriend, Pantheon. I've always liked you. You always treated me like a normal person when everyone shunned me, and for that, I've loved you."

"Perfect! You've made me very happy, Morgana! And now..." The Artisan of War swept Morgana off her feet and into his muscled arms. Morgana let out an embarrassed squeak in shock.

"We shall bake the finest cakes in all of Runeterra! Just the two of us! Onward!" And with that, Pantheon took off with Morgana in his arms. The blushing angel looked over Pantheon's back at the smiling matchmakers. She gave a small nod of gratitude. Taric nodded back, and Ahri gave her a double thumbs up. Eventually, the couple eventually left their field of vision, off to bake pastries with the other at their side.

* * *

After Pantheon and Morgana had left, Singed walked over to Taric and Ahri, who were congratulating each other for a job well done. They turned to him once he drew near.

"Thanks for the help, Singed. I honestly didn't think your end of the plot would work," Taric said gratefully.

"Yeah, that love potion thing in your croissant worked out a lot better than I thought."

Singed huffed. "It's not a love potion! It just releases some inhibitions in a person. It made Pantheon more likely to hop in front of Kayle's attack. Everything that followed was out of my control." Singed began to smile contentedly. "This was quite entertaining. Feel free to call me again if you need my services."

Taric smiled, surprised. "Why, thank you, Singed. Truly, we are indebted to you for helping with this task." Ahri nodded behind him in agreement.

Singed suddenly began to cackle maliciously, frightening the duo in front of him. "Indebted, eh? In that case..."

He pulled out a vial that held a liquid of an odious green hue. Taric and Ahri shrank away from the thing in Singed's outstretched hand, their fear increasing by the second.

"I've been meaning to test this on someone for quite some time now, so..." His cheeks rose in a psychotic grin of pure madness.

" **Who's up for a drink then, hmm?** "

The next morning, the cafeteria was buzzing about talk of how the two matchmakers were chased all across the institute by a crazed Singed for the rest of the day, screaming all the while as they were chased the laughing psychopath.

* * *

And that's another one!

I got the idea of putting Morgana in a chapter after reading a suggestion to keep a Morgana X Kled chapter, and strangely enough, I actually managed to see it work in my head. Unfortunately, I decided it didn't fit with his character, given how he wants everyone dead, and sadly had to scrap it.

 **This brings me to say something quite important**. **Ships that seem unfitting with a champion's character will most likely be doomed to never sail**. I am a **huge** stickler for canon, and that's honestly too bad if there's a ship you like, and it's even worse if I like it too and can actually see it work. So, yeah, just keep that in mind.

Also, if you're wondering why the gap was so big between this chapter and the last one, I started another fanfic titled The Misadventures of Jhin and Yasuo, in case you didn't know by now. It's something that I work on in between chapters/arcs of this fanfic while waiting for suggestions and looking for ideas, so that's what's going to be updated next. I'd really appreciate it if you go and check it out.

Anyway, thank you all once again for reading this fanfic. Be sure to leave a review with your thoughts and suggestions on who you want to see in the next chapter. See ya.


	4. Chapter 4: Bloody Silver

One more.

One more goddamn blood-related pun and the two matchmakers were almost certain that they would go mad.

Vladimir's crazed laughter echoed around the ears of an unamused Taric and Ahri. "Oh, come on, that last one was **good!** "

Ahri rolled her eyes. "That last one made me want to give up being human."

Taric took a deep breath. "Vladimir."

"I'm listening." The blood mage leaned closer attentively.

"I am praying to the Protector that you didn't show up to regale us with terrible puns, and actually need help with a woman."

Vladimir chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "Eh, the first one's a given with everyone. But yeah, I do need some help in getting a girlfriend."

Ahri sighed in relief. "Oh, thank god. So who is it?" Her ears began twitching excitedly.

"Vayne."

The duo froze. "Vayne?" Taric asked, concerned.

"The one and only."

Ahri could barely process what Vladimir said. "B-But she hates you! She's tried to kill you!"

"Psh, I can turn into a pool of blood at will. Watching her scream in rage while shooting at the floor was honestly pretty adorable. And the failed murder attempts and her cold demeanor kinda grew on me."

"But that's-"

"Crazy?" Vladimir raised an eyebrow. "You guys have worked with a time traveler, a Noxian assassin, and a angel that fell from the sky. And you set the last one up with Baker Boy."

Ahri was speechless. Taric laid a hand on her shoulder. "He has a point, you know." Taric turned to the Crimson Reaper. "You've got our help, Vladimir."

"Perfect! Now-"

Ahri's scream interrupted the mens' conversation. She jumped up, her dress covered in blood. Taric took one look at the blood-covered table and held his head in his hands in anguish. " **MY TABLE!** "

Vladimir snickered. "Whoops, my bad. I just tend to start leaking when I get super happy." He raised a hand, and all of the blood rushed back to his finger, returning both the table and Ahri's dress to their former pristine state.

Ahri looked at her dress, impressed. "Whoa, thanks."

"Eh, don't mention it. Honestly, I expected you to be a lot more pissed."

The fox smirked. "Why would I? It's that time of the month."

Vladimir silently mouthed 'that time of the month,' confused. His eyes then widened as the realization hit him, and he bolted out of the room, shrieking in horror.

"That's 4500 gold!" Taric hollered after him, an amused tone in his voice. A shout of "Done!" from the waiting room was his response. He leaned back and looked at his partner. "You seriously let him suck-"

Ahri giggled. "Like hell I would. I was kidding."

Taric sighed. "You are one evil woman." A snicker was the only answer he got.

* * *

"Are you sure this will work? I'm supposed to be a mid laner, not a support." Vladimir crossed his arms on the summoning platform.

"Vlad, we talked about this. Trust me."

Vladimir looked at Vayne, his laning partner, who was halfway down the lane without him. "I dunno..."

Ahri stomped her feet, exasperated. "Oh, come on! Gaining her trust in battle was the only thing that could possibly work! It's not like she'd say yes to a date!"

Darius and Lee Sin looked at the fox woman with sympathy. Vladimir was a pretty odd guy to try and work with, and nobody knew that better than Darius. Lee just felt bad that Ahri had to deal with a weirdo like Vlad.

"Ugh, whatever. Just do your job, keep her alive, and save her ass if you need to. I'll roam if you need it, so call me. That's all." Ahri slipped on her Doran's Ring and stalked off to her lane. Vladimir looked at her as she went and sighed.

"Whatever she says goes, it seems..." The blood mage said this with a melancholy air as he got his Spellthief's Edge and walked down the lane.

* * *

Taric stabbed the pile of spaghetti, worried. Ahri had assured him that she'd handle most of the affair, and after a quick lesson on manners to the Noxian, the matter was taken completely out of his hands. He wondered how they were doing on the Fields of Justice as he toyed with his food.

Diana placed a hand over Taric's, and looked him with concern. "You seem upset. Is something wrong?"

The Shield of Valoran sighed. "It's nothing, dear. I just trusted Ahri with our most recent client. Normally, I would not be so worried, but the client in question is not 'normal' by any means necessary."

Diana smiled. "There's no need to worry. Ahri is pretty tough. One difficult job should not be enough to ruffle her feathers."

Taric chuckled. "I suppose you're right. After all, what's the worst that could happen?"

* * *

The 'worst' in question on the Rift was a comically abysmal bottom lane. Vladimir literally couldn't do anything to support the Night Hunter at all. He had no heal, no shield, and his crowd control was laughable. The two miraculously got away from every all-in without dying, and the twenty creep score deficit was nothing too serious. Ahri was seriously considering giving up and letting LeBlanc curbstomp her.

Vladimir sighed. Ahri's plan was so far blowing up in his face. Vayne barely even looked at him, and any conversations he attempted were put down quicker than an underfed Riven. He looked out at the enemy Zyra and Jinx that were bullying them with reckless abandon.

Reckless abandon.

A sinister grin split his face as the madman inside concocted an equally sinister plan. He elbowed Vayne, making her turn to him with a scowl. "May I help you?"

Vladimir pointed at the opposition. "Back off for a bit."

"Have you lost your wits? I'll fall behind!"

"Vayne, I know you hate every fiber of my being, but please. You have to trust me."

Vayne's expression darkened even further before she marched off to their tower. Vladimir sighed. "In due time..."

On the bright side, his plan was now in motion.

He proceeded to make various "slip-ups," like strolling into a lightning bolt or diving into Zyra's vines. This farce continued till he had only a third of his health.

He then started dancing in the middle of the lane.

Nine other champions took a moment and stared at the dancing hemomancer from their respective spots on the map.

Vayne deserved special mention for how bewildered she was as Vladimir busted his moves.

Jinx and Zyra deserved special mention for how pissed they were.

The two went in on him in a fury, unloading volleys of bullets and vines. Vladimir cackled as he sidestepped the attacks, staying on the very fringes of their damaging radius to entice them to stay on the offensive. The blood mage replenished any health he had lost by draining a few minions on his way back to his turret.

Jinx and Zyra stopped as they were about to enter the range of the turret. They snarled at the grinning Vladimir, who was leaning on his turret. Vayne stared at the ordeal, intrigued at just how badly the terrorist and plant were riled up.

He started dancing again.

The two laners howled in rage as they started taking potshots at the hemomancer. Vladimir took just a few hits, either from Jinx's lightning gun or a Zyra plant. He snickered as he decided he was low enough, and began strolling back to base. He almost couldn't contain himself when he heard the magic word.

"Catch!" Jinx screamed, readying her Super Mega Death Rocket. The muzzle to her rocket launcher erupted in smoke and flames as it spat out the massive missile. It bolted towards the "fleeing" blood mage, ready to end his life on the spot.

" **TROLLPOOL, SUCKA!** " Vladimir sunk into the pool of blood at his feet, evading the rocket as he cackled obnoxiously. Jinx's jaw dropped. Zyra facepalmed. Vayne couldn't believe that the oddball hemomancer had played Jinx like Sona would her etwahl.

That wasn't the end of Vladimir's act, however.

Leaping out his "trollpool," he held the Frost Queen's Claim aloft. "Get 'em!" The two ghosts flew out of the knife at Vladimir's command, hurtling towards the opposition before slowing them to a snail's pace. Vladimir gave Vayne the thumbs up.

"That means you too."

Vayne blinked once before she pulled off the massive crossbow on her back and charged the retreating enemies. She vanished before reappearing to pin Zyra to a wall. The plant screamed as she was riddled with a hail of silver crossbow bolts. Jinx continued trying to escape, before a grinning Vladimir Flashed in front of her. He infected the terrorist with his Hemoplague before sinking back into his blood pool to slow her down even further. Vayne ended Jinx with three bolts to her exposed back for the double kill.

Vladimir popped out of the pool, grinning like the madman he was. "Whoo! That was awesome!" He suddenly stretched out a bloody hand to a shocked Vayne. "Gimmie five!" Vayne looked at the blood mage's dripping appendage with confusion before lightly smacking the hand. She winced as she pulled away with his blood on her palm.

As they toppled the first tower of the match, she silently mused how her mental picture of Vladimir did not hold true to the hemomancer in front of her.

* * *

Everything fell into place after the duo's victory on bottom lane.

Ahri finally got motivated to take LeBlanc down. Lee mercilessly counter-jungled the enemy Warwick. Darius got his momentum and trashed the opposing Jarvan.

Vayne and Vlad had pushed their lane up to the inhibitor turret, decimating Jinx and Zyra at every opportunity. The duo got a ping for assistance at Baron, which the enemy were trying to take. The Night Hunter and Crimson Reaper clumped into the same tiny bush as their three allies.

"How much health does Baron have left?" Vayne peered at the Baron pit, where the opposition were desperately attacking the monster.

Lee spoke up. "About half. They'll be done in about 20 seconds."

Ahri's ball glowed. "Then let's kick some ass."

The team charged out of the bush as one. Vladimir activated his knife, sending out the apparitions as the forerunners to their assault. When they arrived, the river became the stage for a massive melee. Darius and Jarvan were brawling in a stone arena. LeBlanc's assault on Vayne was shut down by a Dragon Kick before she was taken down by a Spirit Rush. Lee got held down by a vine before being ganged on by the remaining four enemies. Darius managed to cleave Jarvan, but couldn't make it in time to dunk on the other champions before falling. Warwick ate silver before getting killed off. Zyra keeled over after being drained by Vladimir.

Ahri gasped before sinking to her knees, exhausted. The enemy team was completely wiped out. She had a lot of gold now, so she could now buy her Guardian Angel. Or should she get Zhonya's?

Her daydream was shattered by the massive rocket screaming towards her. " **OH HOLY SH-** " She yelped before scrambling out of the way. She watched the rocket as it flew past her harmlessly.

"Did we not...? Aw, damn..." She wanted to kick herself. They didn't wipe out everyone. Jinx hadn't been there when the fight went down. Her mistake could have damn well meant her life.

Ahri shrugged and got up. "Well, she missed, so what could possibly..." She fell silent as she saw the wounded Vayne and Vladimir limping off to base. She remembered the path the rocket took as dread filled up inside her.

Maybe Jinx wouldn't miss after all.

* * *

Vladimir winced as he felt the scratch marks from Zyra's thorns. That last skirmish hadn't been kind to him, but at least he was still alive. He looked over at Vayne, whose blood was leaking out of various claw wounds left by Warwick.

It looked really hot.

The two bot laners were walking back to base. They had foregone Recalling since Vayne had pointed out that Jinx was still around somewhere. He honestly didn't care. He would just respawn anyway, right?

The two continued trudging back. The silence began to seriously wear on the Noxian.

"Hey." Vayne turned around, and he surprisingly didn't see her trademark scowl. "You did good back there."

Vayne remained silent before turning around. "You too, I suppose," she muttered.

Vladimir was now thoroughly confused. Did the woman who had regularly made attempts on his life just _compliment_ him?

Vayne was in a state of turmoil even worse than her Noxian laning partner. _This can't be him_ , she thought silently. There was no way that the blood-crazed psychopath she knew of could be this... this...

Nice.

The Night Hunter hadn't died a single time. No matter where they were, Vladimir had taken the brunt of any assaults on the two. Even if it cost him his life. And the hemomancer, if a little odd, was doggedly kind to her, inquiring about her well-being and treating her with politeness and respect at all times.

He also hadn't made any of those god-awful puns of his, which was a huge plus.

The relatively peaceful (if painful) trek back to their base was interrupted by a flurry of pings signifying danger. Vladimir looked around, confused, before seeing the missile streaking towards them.

More specifically, streaking towards Vayne.

Vladimir began to panic as his crush's eyes widened in fear. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't heal her. He couldn't shield her. Her Flash was down, and she was sluggish from all of her wounds. It was almost impossible to save her.

Almost.

He ran between the hurtling rocket and a shocked Vayne. He gritted his teeth as he awaited his imminent demise by explosion. Hopefully the blast won't kill her, he thought. It didn't matter to Vladimir if he died, but Vayne? That was not allowed to happen.

 _I mean, hey_ , he thought. _Forty seconds as a corpse doesn't sound **that** bad_.

He shut his eyes as the rocket hit home and enveloped him in an inferno. His limp body was flung into a nearby tree before falling into a heap on the ground.

He was alive.

His eyes fluttered open to the sight of Vayne's face. In a daze, he noted a green glow around her. _Summoner Heal, huh?_ To the half-dead Vladimir, it almost seemed as though she was worried. And was that a tear in her eye?

The Night Hunter pulled him to his feet. "Never," she choked, glaring into his eyes. "Do that again." She let go of him before marching back to base. Vladimir watched her in a stupor as she left.

Was that blood or a blush on her cheeks?

* * *

The battle had ended in victory for Ahri's team. Everyone was gathering their things before leaving the pre-game room. As Ahri slouched on the bench, she saw Vayne approaching her charge. Oooh, this should be good, she thought, sitting up straight with attention.

Vladimir watched Vayne with nervous attention as she drew near, wondering what she could possibly want him. He small a small slip of paper in her hand.

The two were now face to face. The Night Hunter sighed before taking a deep breath.

"I... Feel as though I was wrong about you." Vladimir's eyes widened. Was this actually happening?

Vayne extended the hand with the paper. "So... Here."

Vladimir nervously took the scrap and noticed some writing. He stared at the Night Hunter's neat handwriting, confused. "Uh... Numbers? What...?"

Vayne sighed, exasperated. "That's my _phone number_ , you dolt."

Vladimir's jaw dropped. "Are... You serious? But I thought-"

"I hated you? For the longest time, that was indeed the case. But after all you did today... I thought that you weren't the monster I thought you were."

The hemomancer felt himself leaking blood. He didn't care. His face split into a wide grin. "I can't believe-" He got cut off when a scowling Vayne grabbed the lapel of his coat. He stared at the glowering Night Hunter, confused.

Up and until she forced her lips against his in a kiss.

Ahri slumped back, content with the sweet taste of victory. Lee listened to the kissing couple with raised eyebrows. Darius smirked before chuckling about how pissed Draven would get.

After a few more seconds, Vayne pulled away from the stupefied Vladimir. The front of her bodysuit was completely soaked in blood. A drop of red dripped out of her mouth and down her chin.

"Believe it now?"

She walked out of the room with a ghost of a smile on her bloody lips, leaving behind a stunned blood mage.

Vladimir stayed silent for about a solid minute. He then leapt to his feet, fists in the air, with the widest, most crazed smile he ever had.

" **HAHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIIIIIFE!** " The blood mage cackled madly before prancing out of the room in joy. Lee and Ahri rubbed their ears in pain. Darius pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something about how Vladimir was the biggest idiot he had ever met. Aside from his brother, of course.

The hemomancer poked his head into the room. "Oh, and Ahri. Thank you. Tell Taric I said thanks too."

Ahri blinked. "Don't mention it." Vladimir nodded before continuing on his way, still cackling like the madman he was. Ahri slumped back in her bench with a sigh.

Darius decided it was time to go, and got up. He instantly slipped on the stream of blood that Vladimir left behind. The Hand of Noxus cursed the hemomancer's name in fury as he repeatedly tried getting up, before slipping again. Lee tried helping him up, but slipped on the bloody tiles beneath him as well, joining Darius in insulting the blood mage. Ahri held her face in her hands at the sight.

 _No matter where I go or what I do, whether Gem Boy's with me or not, I always see the extent of human idiocy._ The fox woman looked up at the stumbling men, before her cheeks raised in a smile.

 _Maybe that's why humans are just so interesting._

* * *

Done, holy hell.

This took a while to make. I got some suggestions for Vladimir in the chapter, and Vayne seemed like the most obvious choice to pair him up with. I also tried a couple of new things, like giving Ahri some more spotlight, keeping Summoner's Rift as the setting, and focusing a little more on Taric's relationship.

Speaking of Taric's relationship, **Taric x Sona is officially retconned**. It never happened. Taric's taunt towards Diana was too good to pass up, and I honestly didn't see much between Taric and Sona. The main reason, however, I got the idea for another ship with Sona, which is actually my new OTP. What is it? To say the least, this ship es #1. That's all.

Anyway, that's all for now. Thanks again for reading, and be sure to leave a review with your suggestions for the next pairing. I'll be seeing you guys. Later.


	5. Chapter 5: Silent Night, Metal Night

"You know, of all the people I was expecting on Snowdown Eve, I was not expecting you."

"Please shut up."

An amused smile played across Taric's face as he beheld the massive suit of armor that was none other than the Master of Metal, Mordekaiser. The glowing red eyes within the depths of his helmet seemed to burn less with wrathful fury and more with embarrassment that evening.

"Well, you're lucky that Ahri's not with us right now, or she would have made the biggest sce-" Both men froze as they heard the door creak open.

"Hey-hey, Gem Boy, I got a set of those cupcakes Morg and Panth was making for Snowdown, and **man** they smell goo-" The Nine-Tailed Fox joined the men in their frozen state as she saw just who her client was that evening. Taric winced as Mordekaiser shot him a glare fiercer than the most dazzling of gemstones.

Very silently, Ahri walked past the Iron Revenant and gingerly set down the box with the bakers' cupcakes on the table. She walked next to Taric, and took a seat. For a solid minute, neither the Aspect, fox, or wraith made a sound.

However, the silence was eventually broken as Ahri cracked up into a raucous fit of crazed laughter. Mordekaiser shot up to his feet, eyes blazing with rage and shame in equal measure. "Sh-Shut up! I came here to seek help, not have some fox-woman-thing mock me!"

Said fox-woman-thing had tears streaming down her cheeks as she tumbled out of her chair and onto the ground, laughing all the while as she clutched her sides. "I... I know, but to think, that you of all people, came here, it's... it's just... **PFFFT.** " The brief respite from Ahri laughing ended violently as she descended into yet another fit of laughter.

Taric sighed. "I'm sorry, Mordekaiser. Now, to cut to the chase, who do you want to enter a relationship with?"

The Master of Metal mumbled something inaudible. Taric raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to have to ask you to speak up." The Shield of Valoran opened up the box and picked out a cupcake that almost seemed to sparkle. He took a bite out of it and began chewing, looking at the wraith expectantly

This time, it was barely audible, but audible nonetheless. "...Sona." The loud sound of choking filled the room, and Taric crashed onto the floor, clutching his throat and wheezing laboriously as his face turned an amethyst purple. "Oh, come on, you've seen weirder!"

The sounds of her friend and colleague choking on a Yuletide Sparkle Cupcake broke Ahri out of her laughing fit, and she rushed over to Taric before slugging him in the gut. A loud **"OOF"** rang through the room, before Taric swallowed the bit of cupcake he had almost spat out onto the carpet. "Thank you," he wheezed, patting his chest weakly.

Ahri crossed her arms proudly. "Who needs Akali when you've got me?"

Taric climbed to his feet, still panting. "W-Well, I apologize about that. It just... came as a shock, is all." Mordekaiser nodded gravely. "Now, how did Sona be the one to win your heart?"

"I... don't know. We were just bandmates on Pentakill, and time went on, she just, grew on me. At first, I just wanted to keep her safe, but that soon developed into, well... love." The Iron Revenant went quiet as he said that final word.

Ahri cocked her head. "But you've seen her on Summoner's Rift. She can handle herself just fine, especially when you hand her a Lich Bane and send her mid. Why would she need to be protected?

Mordekaiser looked at her, unamused. "She shares a band with a wraith that can enslave your soul for eternity, an immortal cursed gravedigger, a barbarian hell-bent on getting himself killed, and lich that sings about death all day and every day. Now, you tell me why I shouldn't try and keep her out of harm's way." Ahri seemed to visibly shrink, and mumbled something about good points.

Taric, now mostly recovered, spoke up. "Well, that's quite touching, actually. Alright Mordekaiser, we're yours." He glanced down at his colleague, a smile on his face. "Now, then, Ahri, I do hope you know about the Snowdown Concert tomorrow."

Ahri's ears perked up and a grin split her face. "Oh, yeah. I'm seeing exactly where this is going."

Mordekaiser didn't. "But Pentakill is performing then! Just what are you plan-" He got cut off as Ahri slung an arm around his shoulder.

"Now, now, Morde, you're gonna have to trust us on this one. It's Snowdown tomorrow! There's no way we'd screw anything up on that day for anybody."

"Believe in us, for a true Snowdown miracle to happen, it must come from here." The Shield of Valoran put a hand onto his chestplate.

Mordekaiser stared at him. "You do know I have no physical body outside of my Pentakill getup, right?"

Taric fell silent, before retracting his arm. "It's the thought that counts," he quickly said. The Iron Revenant sighed.

"Well... I suppose I could leave this all up to you. I'm counting on you two, understand?" He was met with two confident nods, and satisfied, he stood up and got ready to leave.

Taric extended a hand. "Thank you for coming to us, Mordekaiser. We shall discuss payment after this is all done." After a pause, the walking suit of armor took it.

"We shall. I'll... see what you have planned tomorrow." And with that, Mordekaiser left the duo behind praying for a Snowdown miracle at the concert.

Ahri turned to Taric, grinning devilishly. "Well, we've got a job to do, am I right?"

Taric chuckled. "Oh, how right you are."

* * *

"And that's Popstar Ahri for all of ya, with a kickass song for Snowdown!" Draven announced amid wild cheers as Ahri took a bow, smirking at all of the drooling men in the crowd. She didn't take any more essence, but damn, was it fun to get a guy all hot and bothered.

Draven cleared his throat and adjusted his Primetime suit's tie. "Well, now, join Draven and give it up for Pentakill!" The audience erupted into cheers once again as Runeterra's favorite metal band took the stage. The four men were in complete Pentakill attire, with the only difference being the Santa hats mounted on their heads. Sona had done them one better by arriving in her Silent Night clothing.

Olaf twirled his drumsticks as he took a seat at his drum set."Man, you dudes ready to shred?" The rest of the band high fived him and engaged in some pre-performance banter, with the exception of Mordekaiser, who was staring out into space broodingly.

 _What are those two fools planning?_ The question seemed to echo throughout his head as he half-mindedly played with Numero Uno's strings, until the Maven of the Strings tapped his shoulder, startling him. Her eyes were filled with concern. He mentally cursed as he realized that his behavior could make her believe that something was amiss. "Er, I'm fine. Just a little skittish."

Sona raised an eyebrow. Since when was the lord of the undead ever skittish? They'd performed to crowds at least twice as big as this, and Mordekaiser had not even blinked. _Was something wrong?_ She wondered, before dismissing the thought. She knew he didn't feel too well around a joyous atmosphere, and the Institute's auditorium was the very picture of it. While she couldn't help but feel a little worried for the Master of Metal, she put it to the back of her mind and focused on preparing for the performance.

"Quieten down, folks, the spectacle that's second only to yours truly is about to start!" The crowd hushed, and the spotlight washed over the waiting band. After a pause, Olaf raised his drumsticks, Karthus clutched the mic tighter. Yorick, Sona and Morde had their fingers at the ready.

Olaf brought the sticks together with a loud _clack._ Mordekaiser noticed something glint at the edge of the stage.

 _Clack._ Was that...? No, it couldn't be.

 _Clack._ It was a gemstone.

Olaf was about to bring his sticks together a final time before the stage's trapdoors opened beneath him, Karthus, and Yorick, sending them below the stage amidst screams and curses. The crowd gasped, and the Master and Maven looked around the stage, shocked. _Those idiots are trying to ruin me!_ Mordekaiser seethed, as the crowd went into a frenzy of worried whispers.

* * *

Backstage, Jhin was beside himself.

"How? I planned this so meticulously! Every position, every entrance, and every exit! Why, why, why?! Olaf didn't even hit the sticks four times!" Jhin continued to bawl as his roommate Yasuo tried his best to comfort him. He looked out at the rest of the champions who were to perform that night.

"All right, since Jhin here's a sniveling mess, I guess I've got to try something, or we're boned. Anybody have any ideas?" He cursed as everyone shook their heads dejectedly.

"Damn, we can't just sit here! Jhin told me that the Pentakill performance was one of the highlights! He'd rather die than cancel it!"

"And we don't have to."

Every head turned to see Ahri at the other end of the hall, walking towards them while twirling her cell phone in her hands. Yasuo stared at her hard. "What's your deal? Are you behind all of this?"

Jhin's eyes shot open, and glared murderously at her. "If you're trying to ruin my production, I swear, I'll-" Jhin fell silent as Ahri stuck out her phone in front of his face, showing a picture of the three missing Pentakill members with another set of instruments underneath the stage. Olaf and Yorick were grinning and giving the thumbs-up, while Karthus was nursing his back while still sticking out his thumb. "What is the meaning of this?"

"It means, that while Pentakill is performing tonight," she said, gesturing out at the stage. "The stage belongs to those two."

Yasuo hadn't been bought, and his eyes narrowed. "And if this all goes to hell?"

Ahri giggled. "Don't you trust me?"

* * *

"Whoa-ho, chill out, folks. Draven's just got word from backstage. And you're gonna love this as much as you love me, because the show must go on!" The crowd began to cheer in ecstasy.

"What?!" Mordekaiser shouted incredulously, but he was drowned out in the roars of the audience. How in Runeterra would they be able to perform without the other three? He glanced at Sona, who was gulping nervously. He didn't want the night to get ruined for her because of that ridiculous request he made to that damn fox and gem-obsessed-

"Taric?" He muttered, squinting towards the back of the crowd. Sure enough, that was Taric, surrounded by gemstones and being basked in the soft glow of the jewels. To the Master of Metal's shock, Karthus was standing next to him, rubbing his back. He was about holler out a plethora of curses and anathemas at the matchmaker and his runaway bandmate, before a large projection emerged from the gems.

 _Trust me,_ it read. The projection was bright enough for him to see, but not so bright that it attracted attention from the audience in front of it. The projection changed, and now read _Watch Karthus_. The lich waved at him.

He glanced at Sona, and dumbfoundedly realized that her microphone was positioned so that it was turned away from Taric and Karthus. _Just how thoroughly was this planned out?_

The sound of drums and bass guitar began to ring out throughout the auditorium. Without the sounds of Mordekaiser's or Sona's playing, The Iron Revenant almost failed to recognize it. But as more words appeared on the projection, he realized full well what song it was.

Last year, he remembered how Sona had rounded them up and convinced them into playing some ridiculous song that was all the rage with the summoners. To humor her, they played along. The end result was more than a little laughable, as the song wasn't metal, yet was still played with metal instruments, and Karthus had zero similarities with the original artist's voice.

And now the drums and bass guitar of Olaf and Yorick were now blasting through the speakers along with another track, meshing together and now awaiting the guitar and etwahl to make it whole. The words on the projection were waiting to be sung, and the strings of his guitar were waiting to be shredded. He was the only one capable of both, and he groaned.

He looked out at Sona, who, while more than a little startled, was effortlessly hitting all the right chords and strings. Now, all that was left was the sound of Numero Uno and Mordekaiser's voice. He swallowed his pride, and grabbed the mic. He couldn't care any less about this song, but under no circumstance would he ever ruin Sona's performance. He opened his mouth, and began to sing the words on the projection.

 _ **I don't want a lot for Snowdown**_  
 _ **There is just one thing I need, and I**_  
 _ **Don't care about the presents**_  
 _ **Underneath the Snowdown tree**_  
 _ **I don't need to hang my stocking**_  
 _ **There upon the fireplace**_  
 _ **Santa Claus won't make me happy**_  
 _ **With a soul on Snowdown day**_

By the gods, he wanted to die. If he had a face, it probably would have burned off by now from the shame from hearing the laughter and cheers of the crowd. The only thing that was making this work was Taric showing off the lyrics, which he had cheekily modified into suiting a Shadow Isles lord like himself, and Karthus motioning how to modulate his voice. Focus. He returned his attention to the next verse.

 _ **I just want you for my own**_  
 _ **More than you could ever know**_  
 _ **Make my wish come true**_  
 _ **All I want for Snowdown is you**_

He turned to Sona, and to his surprise, she seemed far less shaken than earlier. In fact, she actually seemed happy, her face glowing as her fingers flew across the strings of her etwahl. If he hadn't been singing, he would have sighed. No turning back now. If Sona wanted it, she'd get it.

 _ **I won't ask for much this Snowdown**_  
 _ **I won't even wish for souls, and I**_  
 _ **I just wanna keep on waiting**_  
 _ **Underneath the mistletoe**_

 _Hold on,_ he thought, squinting at Sona. Did she just flush a bit when I said that?

 _ **I won't make a list and send it**_  
 _ **To the Freljord for Saint Braum**_  
 _ **I won't even stay awake**_  
 _ **To hear those magic poros lick**_

As much as he hated to admit it, the bizarre blend of heavy metal and festive Snowdown music was starting to draw him in, making him sing louder, shred harder, and making the crowd go into an uproar.

 _ **'Cause I just want you here tonight**_  
 _ **Holding on to me so tight**_  
 _ **What more can I do**_  
 _ **Oh, baby all I want for Snowdown is you**_

No doubt about it, Sona was starting to go red. But why?

 _ **All the lights are shining**_  
 _ **So brightly everywhere**_  
 _ **And the sound of mortals'**_  
 _ **Screaming fills the air**_

 _At least he knows what I like to hear,_ Mordekaiser noted, quite pleased with the alteration.

 _ **And everyone is shrieking**_  
 _ **I hear that death knell ringing**_  
 _ **Gragas won't you bring me**_  
 _ **The one I really need**_  
 _ **Won't you please bring my baby to me quickly**_

His helmet should have gone up in flames by now, and Mordekaiser was now thoroughly confused. Why was Sona going as red as her hat?

 _ **I don't want a lot for Snowdown**_  
 _ **This is all I'm asking for**_  
 _ **I just wanna see my baby**_  
 _ **Standing right outside my door**_

 _Oh, gods, it's almost over,_ he thought with relief. He wanted it over with, not just to save face but because Sona looked like she might fall over any second now.

 _ **I just want you for my own**_  
 _ **More than you could ever know**_  
 _ **Make my wish come true**_  
 _ **Baby all I want for Snowdown is you**_

 _That's it._ Mordekaiser and Sona raised their hands to strike the final chord.

 _ **All I want for Snowdown is you, baby**_

Guitar and etwal rang throughout the auditorium as the song ended. The crowd went wild, and the roars and cheers were almost enough to shatter the windows. Mordekaiser let out a sigh. It was done. He looked out to Sona, who was fidgeting with her dress, face a deep crimson. I couldn't have. That ridiculous song couldn't have. "Are you alright?"

The question made her jump. And she nodded at him quickly. _"I'm okay,"_ she responded telepathically.

"You don't look like it."

 _"O-Oh, it's just that I... I didn't know you could sing that well."_

"If I'm being honest, neither did I." A small laugh reverberated through his mind, before stopping.

 _"If you don't mind, could I ask you something?"_ He looked at her, puzzled, before motioning her to continue.

 _"Who were you singing about?"_

If Mordekaiser had blood, it would have run cold. She was looking at him, red-faced, almost hopefully. _It worked. It actually worked._ He took a breath. The chance was right in front of him, and all that was left was to take it.

"You." The answer seemed to take the maven off guard, but before long, a happy smile crept across her lips.

 _"...Thank you. To know that... It makes me happy._ " The red orbs in Mordekaiser's helmet widened. Could it be?

She looked down, embarrassed. _"While you sang, I thought about everything you've done for me. Letting me eat at your castle along with the others, chasing off any evil spirits whenever we practiced... I didn't know it was because you were in love with me. And now that I know that..."_ She looked up, smiling even wider.

 _"I've decided that I love you too."_

 _Those idiots. Those idiots pulled it off. Holy shit._ As he opened his mouth to respond, he noticed the tip of a spear above him. He turned around, and saw Hecarim holding his lance by the very end of the shaft, an amused look playing across his skull-like features. A loud clang could be heard from the tip, and the Master and Maven saw Thresh's lantern hanging off the tip, and to their embarrassment, noticed mistletoe taped onto the bottom. They looked at the specter, who was staring at them expectantly and mouthing 'Do it' over and over again.

The two musicians looked at each other, and Mordekaiser was unable to react as Sona stood on her toes and kissed his helmet, wrapping her arms around him. Flustered, he returned the hug, trying his hardest to shut out the hoots and cheers from the audience.

Eventually, she pulled away, and smiled at him, each in the other's arms. Mordekaiser thought that he wouldn't mind spending the rest of his undeath the way they were now, for the rest of eternity.

However, he noticed something amiss. "Hold on, where's Thresh and Hecarim?" Sure enough, as the newly-made couple looked around, the two specters had moved away, and were now on the edge of the stage, with Thresh on Hecarim's back.

"Can you fools not see that our lord is having a moment?" Hecarim's voice was hard and vengeful, and made the audience shift in their seats uncomfortably.

"Well, they won't be able to see much longer, **after my souls tear out their eyes!** **"** Thresh cackled as he brought his lantern above his head, and a maelstrom of souls flooded out, making the crowd scream. **"GET THEM!"** Hecarim summoned his riders, and the two wraiths leaped into the audience, sending the entire place into chaos as vengeful apparitions, moaning spirits, and two specters that were enjoying themselves too much wreaked havoc and sent champions and summoners alike flying.

Mordekaiser stepped forward to cease the madness, but Sona held onto his arm. _"They're not actually hurting anyone. And besides, this is actually pretty funny._ " Mordekaiser stared at her, before chuckling.

"I'm loving you more by every second." The two musicians sat down on the stage, happily watching the craziness that was all too common in the Institute of War, and only requiring the company of the other.

* * *

As chaos reigned supreme in the auditorium, the two matchmakers were helping themselves to a well-earned drink in their office.

"It's a shame that Pentakill couldn't come. If only Hecarim and Thresh hadn't gone overboard..." Taric shook his head as he took a sip of red wine.

"Eh, can't be helped. Besides, Olaf would be happier there than here anyway," Ahri said, taking a swig of Graggy Ice.

"But, to pair up such an unlikely couple..." Taric chuckled. "Truly a Snowdown miracle."

"You said it," Ahri said laughing. She raised her bottle. "To a job well done."

"To a job well done," Taric agreed, tapping his glass against the bottle, before the two friends threw their heads back and drank heartily, satisfied that two more champions of the Institute of War had found love.

* * *

 **THE OTP LIVES HUEHUEHUEHUE**

Well, there it is. Morde X Sona, my truest and one and only OTP, just in time for Christmas. I am so proud of this, and I just want to thank each and every one of you readers, because if this hadn't picked up all those months ago when the first chapter dropped, I probably wouldn't even be writing fanfictions right now. So once again, thank you.

Well, where I live, it's currently 1 in the morning and I still have to update The Misadventures of Jhin and Yasuo, so I'll wrap this up now. Thanks again for reading, and you're more than welcome to leave a review about your thoughts and who you want in a later chapter. A Merry Christmas to all of you, and I'll be seeing you guys.

Oh, and about that parody of All I Want For Christmas is You? Yeah, that monstrosity, abomination, and sin against God is something that hurt for me to write as much as it hurt for Mordekaiser to sing.


	6. Chapter 6: Of Dragons and Princes

"You."

"Me."

"Came _here._ "

"Have I not?"

"To _us._ "

"Darling, awe is a natural response to my presence. But you are rather pushing it..."

Taric and Ahri looked across the table to see a projection of Aurelion Sol about the size of Taric, who was looking at them with a smug air and bored look.

Taric nudged an awestruck Ahri with an elbow. "As long as he's here, we might as well get to business. So then, Aurelion," he said. "Who have you come to make your beloved?"

Ahri snickered. "Probably one of those girls from the Star Guardi- **AAACK!** " She narrowly ducked under bolt of starfire that had fired from the projection's maw, which obliterated the window behind them.

Taric stared at the destroyed glass, distraught. Getting rid of the stains of Vladimir's blood in the table was a huge hassle, and he still hadn't gotten them all out. And now there was a window to deal with. "Again...?"

"My apologies, allow me." Stardust from Aurelion's form coalesced around the remains of shards of glass, bringing together its pieces and reassembling it, leaving a faint, ethereal glow to the window. The Shield of Valoran sighed in relief.

Ahri laughed sheepishly at the unamused star dragon. "Well, uh, heh-heh, so..."

Aurelion sighed, annoyed. "As much as it may enthrall you to know I am in love, that is not the case. Humans are simply too short lived, and are generally unappealing in terms of personality or character. No, I am here for another reason."

In response to the two matchmakers' confused expressions, Aurelion produced an orb of starlight in his hand. They were surprised to see various images moving about inside it. "What you are about to see is what was once a large source of amusement for me. Then, cringing. And now, borderline pain." Taric and Ahri moved closer to the orb, interested in what they might find.

Taric stared, at a loss for words. Ahri fell out of her chair, laughing uncontrollably.

In the orb was a sequence of events, the focus being put on Shyvana. One was of her handing a box of chocolates to a pleasantly surprised Jarvan IV, red in the face, before she practically ran off, leaving a scorched trail of her footprints and a confused prince behind her. Another was of her taking hasty peeks around the corner of a wall, obviously spying on Jarvan, who was busy speaking to Garen. The Half-Dragon would retreat into cover every time the royal made a passing glance over his shoulder, her face hosting a deep red tint.

Taric and Ahri respectively facepalmed and nearly passed out laughing upon seeing the dragoness gingerly pull out a box from under her bed, the contents of which were various figurines, posters, a T-shirt, and a large plush doll of Jarvan, the last of which she hugged protectively. Aurelion snuffed out the orb in a clenched fist, groaning.

"I suppose this is what a lifetime around humans does to a dragon, half-human or not. Such behavior... It is utterly unfitting of the draconic lineage. I feel like Pantheon is in the same room as me when I remember these events." He stared piercingly into the eyes of the duo. "Which is why I'd like the two of you to do what you do, and get her into a relationship with this prince character. Hopefully she will stop behaving like a lovesick human teenager if it so happens."

Ahri's laughter died down, and was replaced with nervous whimpering. "Uh, I'd love to, but... **bad** things happen whenever one of us says something about Shyvana's love life."

Taric raised an eyebrow. "Surely it can't be anything too serious." The star dragon nodded in agreement.

The fox sighed and pulled out her phone. "Remember that explosion at Gragas' bar last month?"

"Ahhh, yes, that explosion. I thought I'd formed a star in the Institute on accident when I was looking down from the skies. Not that I'd care, mind you." Aurelion chuckled, as it was clearly a fond memory.

"Yeeeaaah, this is what happened." She turned the phone to the Aspect and the dragon, who moved closer to get a better look.

On the screen was a video of various women of the League around a large table, which Taric recognized as a part of Gragas' tavern. Gragas himself handed a large platter of various liquors to the excited women, who made remarks on how strongly it smelled. The two saw Zyra sidle up to Shyvana, and saw her whisper something into the dragoness's ear. Shyvana promptly went red in the face, before an expression of rage washed over her features, and she was wreathed in flames as she transformed. The last thing they heard was Gragas bellowing **"NOOOOOOOOOO!"** before a brilliant flash and a massive _BANG_ took place. After the dust had settled, the entire tavern was nothing but rubble, with numerous dazed patrons and champions lying amidst the destruction. A very confused dragon was also seen sitting in the wreckage.

Taric began sweating, and Aurelion doubled over, roaring in laughter. Ahri sighed and returned the phone into the folds of her dress. "The booze got ignited and pretty much wrecked the entire building. If Lamb hadn't used her Respite, I don't even know how many people would have died. And if the tavern wasn't Chronoshift ensured..." The fox shuddered. "I don't even know how much we'd have to pay."

The star dragon scratched his chin, still chuckling. "While it _is_ highly amusing, inciting violence is not my objective, especially not with someone so... _volatile_."

Taric's brow furrowed. "But there must be something we can do for the woman, can there not?"

Suddenly, the door burst open, and a very haggard and annoyed Xin Zhao barged in. "I have a job for you," he said, plopping down into a chair between the bewildered champions.

Ahri cleared her throat. "Uh, Xin, we're kinda in the middle of s-"

"It's about Shyvana, isn't it?"

Taric's eyes widened, surprised. "Why, indeed it is. But how...?"

Xin groaned and rubbed his temples. "Why else would Aurelion Sol be here? And if it's Shyvana we are discussing here, then what I have to say can hardly be irrelevant." The duo looked behind the Seneschal at the star dragon, who had drifted off to the back of the room, looking highly amused.

Taric's attention returned to the irritated Xin, the trace of a smile playing at his lips. "Well, then, can I assume that this has something to do with Jarvan?" The Shield of Valoran's smile widened as the former gladiator groaned again and nodded.

"Every single time Garen and I go out drinking with him, he always starts talking about how much he wants a girlfriend after the first few shots. He'll go on and on about how much his parents want him to get married, about how happy he'd be if there was someone there for him. Sometimes he'll start wailing about how lonely is, and every time it happens I feel as though I'd rather be back in Noxus' arenas." He rested his head against the table, sighing. "And all the while, every move Shyvana makes on him goes completely over his head. The poor fool wouldn't be able to take a hint if he got hit in the head with a brick with a love letter attached."

He looked up at the matchmakers imploringly. "Which is why I'm here: to get Jarvan hitched with Shyvana. It shouldn't be too hard, since it's completely obvious she likes him. And nothing would make me happier, both because my close friend would find such joy, and because I will never have to deal with those infernal drunken rants again."

Ahri settled into her chair, tails swishing. "Well, we can't turn down the same request from two different people, now can we? We'll help."

Taric nodded. "Agreed. We shall discuss payment later, for me and my partner have work to do." The star dragon nodded, before his projection dissipated into stardust. Xin Zhao sighed in relief, before exiting the office, leaving the two matchmakers to formulate their battle plan.

* * *

"Ah, Taric. What might bring you to the witness the awesome affairs of Demacia, old friend?"

"...Garen, you are quite literally playing video games with Jarvan and Lux."

His sister sighed. "Seriously, Garen, you need to stop doing that."

Jarvan IV nodded in agreement."Yeah, it's getting a little much sometimes."

The captain of the Dauntless Vanguard colored, and sheepishly put down his Hexbox One controller. "Uh, so, Taric, what might you need?"

"I'd like to have a word in private with Jarvan, if you'd be so kind."

Garen gave his prince a wary glance, beads of sweat beginning to form on his forehead. Taric was always a bit... _odd,_ so to speak. And he seemed even more so since his return from Targon. He'd heard the rumors about him and Ezreal, and if they were true... "Well, uh-"

Lux immediately flung an arm around her brother's shoulder in a vice grip, forcing the hulking Crownguard to his feet in a shocking display of strength. "Ohhh, why didn't you say so? C'mon, big brother, let's leave them to their..." Lux took a gulp of air, a small trickle of blood coming out of her nose as she wore an... _excited_ expression. **"Private time."** The young girl marched Garen out of Jarvan's room, with the Aspect and Exemplar hearing his feeble protests about his "prince's chastity."

Taric raised a disappointed eyebrow at Jarvan. "You _have_ told them I'm not into men, right?"

The prince shrugged apologetically. "May have slipped my mind. My bad."

Taric sighed. "Well, getting to the point..." Taric gently put a hand on Jarvan's shoulder, his warm smile never leaving his face.

"I've been thinking that you, a young prince in his prime, should be getting out more. Seeing the sights, seeing things from his people's point of view..." A sly glint appeared in the Aspect's eye. "And perhaps, fall in love, even."

The prince sighed wistfully. "What you say is true, Taric. I can't afford to be stuck in a tower till my coronation as the next king. However, about that last part... I just seem to have no luck with women."

 _A little density is fine, nothing Xin hadn't warned me about._ "How so?"

"Nobody just seems to strike my fancy. Lux's puns get on my nerves. Vayne is seeing Vladimir, and even if she wasn't, she'd just be moping and brooding all day. Quinn is out of the question, she's with Talon, and she'd probably be paying to much attention to her annoying bird anyway. Poppy... Is a nice person, but that would look more than a little weird to my subjects. Sona, I can't even tell what she's thinking, and Mordekaiser would invariably smite me. Kayle is too stiff for my liking. And Fiora would run me through within seconds of me speaking to her." Jarvan sighed. "I expected finding a girlfriend would be easier. I mean, I'm a _prince_."

 _All right, he didn't mention Shyvana, but that's okay._ "What about Shyvana? You haven't mentioned her yet, and she seems to be a decent woman."

"Oh yeah, her. She's quite nice. Gives me homemade cookies each Saturday. A little burnt, but I don't mind. Although, she always runs off before I can say talk with her. Never found out why."

 _You can handle this._ "Well, that sounds splendid. She is a good woman after all, isn't she?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if she'd like me. She always has her eyes turned away, her face is always red, and she always has this scary, hushed whisper when she talks to me. And she tends to burn the floor around her." Jarvan looked at the ground sadly. "Honestly, I wonder if she's angry at me for some reason."

 _By the Protector, this poor fool is denser than Nautilus' armor._ "Worry not, good prince. If you really believe Shyvana dislikes you, then why not smooth things out with her? Take her out in the Institute together, and perhaps you can find out how she really feels about you."

Jarvan looked up, hopeful. "Yes, that does sound right. Yes, quite right indeed..." The Demacian slowly stood up, determination evident on his features. "Yes, you are right! I'll go and find Shyvana, and find out just why she is behaving so oddly around me!" Jarvan smiled. "Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you're trying to get me hitched with Shyvana. Ha-ha!"

* * *

"Ahhh, that truly hit the spot..."

Pantheon sighed contentedly as he stepped out of the steaming shower. In all of Targon's history, he had never understood the appeal for showers, but ever since he moved into the Institute, he figured out why.

The Aspect of War whistled a Targonian folk tune as he wrapped a towel around his waist and opened his bathroom door.

And saw Taric sitting on his bed, looking straight at him with a look of sheer desolation.

 **"TARGON'S NAME TARIC WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM"** Pantheon shrieked, recoiling from his fellow Aspect in horror as he protectively clutched his towel. _Those infernal rumors are definitely true, no doubt about it,_ he fearfully thought.

"Oh, good, you're done," Taric said, picking up his rival's shield as he stood up. The Aspect of the Protector thrust the circle of metal into a bewildered Pantheon's arms. He took a knee, and gestured to his head.

"Please hit me as hard as you can."

* * *

"You have to stand up straighter! And stick your chest out a bit more, that's it." Ahri stood back, inspecting the Half-Dragon's frame for any issues with her posture in her room.

"Is there any real reason as to why I'm doing this?" Shyvana asked, skeptical to the fox's insisted scrutiny.

The dragoness remembered the events that had led up till now. Jarvan had shown up earlier on that day, and had shockingly asked her to spend some time with him later, The stupefied dragoness could just barely manage to stutter an "okay." A certain fox-woman had been passing by, and had pounced the second Jarvan left, saying that she could help her win her prince's heart. Whether she was 'just passing by' or deliberately waited for an opportune moment was still up for debate, however.

"Oh, believe me, this is just what you need to get Jarvan to notice you. Nobody likes a sloucher."

"I don't slouch, I'm in a combat-ready position. It lets me strike quicker and deadlier. I'm not like Vayne, who's always hunched over and brooding."

Ahri continued surveying Shyvana's body, undeterred. "Quinn's in a combat-ready position, and you know how that looks."

Shyvana rolled her golden eyes. "Oh, please. That looks like some ridiculous Fiddlesticks impression."

"Well, this is what catches a man's eye, so stop complaining and get your chin up. Like royalty."

The dragoness snorted. "Like all those prissy, holier-than-thou noblewomen who make doe eyes at my prince? You must be out of your mind."

Ahri groaned. "Okay, lift your head up like a regal and awesome dragon. Or something."

Shyvana paused, before obediently drawing her head up. Ahri clapped her hands, delighted. "Super! Now, clothing."

Shyvana growled. "If you intend on keeping me in one of those ridiculous ball gowns I'll have your tails for a scarf."

"Gods, no. Jarvan's no noble full of hot air, so it's out of the question he'd be into something like that." _That, and he's as dense as a brick._ "What you need is something more practical, normal. Like this." The gumiho showed the Half-Dragon a red sundress. It was very simple, with no embellishments or designs, save for a golden trim at the sleeves and hem. It seemed decent enough to the dragoness.

"Can I see that?" Shyvana asked, arm outstretched. Ahri obliged, and the dragon slipped it over her head. It was a good fit, of good material and a little loose. She rotated her arms freely, unencumbered by the clothes. Perfect. "I'll take it."

"Oh, good. And you're going to need these san-" Ahri's presentation of a pair of sandals was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. "I wonder who that is."

"Probably Lux, here to go on about her latest date or something," Shyvana scoffed. She moved for the door, and flung it open in an irritated fashion. "Lux, if you're here to talk about your latest date with that twink, I swear to-" The dragoness stopped, wide-eyed.

"J-Jarvan?"

"My, my, Shyvana, you look simply divine." Jarvan IV walked into the dragon's room, a glowing mile making him all the more radiant to the crushing Half-Dragon.

Shyvana was caught completely off guard by the prince's completely different behavior"I-I, I don't-"

"Is that a new dress? It looks simply splendid!" The Exemplar laid a hand on her shoulder, feeling the well-made cotton between calloused fingers.

Shyvana's blush deepened by about three shades. "O-Oh, is it really...?"

"Why, of course it would look good, on, _you_... **BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"** The prince's rich baritone suddenly changed into a haughty, feminine cackle as he doubled over in front of a shocked Shyvana, laughing uncontrollably.

Ahri threw her hands into their, infuriated. "Oh, goddamn it, how many times did I tell you, keep in character, keep in character, but do you listen? No!"

Jarvan exploded into pink mist, revealing a still-laughing LeBlanc. "Oh, oh man, I am sorry but looking at her lovestruck face, I, I just, _couldn't..._ " The illusionist descended into another fit of laughter.

Shyvana growled, furious for being played for a fool. She savagely lunged at the Noxian with a burning fist. **"LeBlanc, I swear to god I will-"** LeBlanc herself exploded into pink mist as the enraged Half-Dragon coughed and sputtered in confusion. The real LeBlanc shimmered into view, lounging on Shyvana's bed.

"Do what, exactly?" The Noxian sighed and stood up, staring piercingly into Shyvana's eyes with a smug smirk. "If a poser like me can make you into a stuttering mess with that ridiculous Jarvan impersonation, then what chance could you possibly have with the real blockhead, hm?"

Shyvana opened her mouth to retort, and then clenched her teeth in frustration. As much as she loathed the Noxian scumbag in front of her, she had a valid argument. Knowing that she, a mighty warrior that carried the blood of dragons, reduced to something beneath a stammering schoolgirl in an Ionian manga was almost painful to her. But she just couldn't help it.

LeBlanc laid a hand on Shyvana's shoulder, startling her. "Look here, hon, I get that you really like this guy, I do. But you're not going to get anywhere the way you are now, you see?"

Shyvana looked into the Deciever's sly eyes hard. She might have imagined it, but she could see the most faintest look of honesty in her cunning gaze. The dragoness sighed. "I... suppose you're right."

Ahri nudged LeBlanc's shoulder playfully. "Awww, I didn't know a lying jerk like you could deliver something so touchi- **HURK** " The fox doubled over as the illusionist rammed the butt of her staff into her stomach, making her wheeze in pain.

"Now then," LeBlanc said, flashing the groaning gumiho a reproachful look. She returned her attention to a waiting Shyvana, who gulped as she once again turned into a smiling Jarvan.

"Let's try that again."

* * *

The market district. The site of Jarvan and Shyvana's date. At least, that's how Shyvana wanted to think of it. Jarvan just saw it as time spent between two buddies.

It was also the site of two spying matchmakers.

Ahri spotted Taric coming around the corner, as planned. "Hey there, Gemsalo-" The fox froze in shock upon noticing the massive bruise above his right eye. "The hell happened to you?"

"Nothing." The Shield of Valoran paused, before narrowing his good eye. "Any reason why you're hunched over and clutching your stomach?"

"No reason." The fox sighed. "Anyway, are those two showing up anytime soon?"

"Just about... now." The duo ducked behind a cart as a certain Demacian prince and violent dragoness walked past.

"Aren't you enjoying yourself, Shyvana? That flame show of Brand's was simply spectacular!"

"Y-Yeah, it was," Shyvana meekly said. She silently thanked the Noxian illusionist for her rigorous (and highly flustering) training.

"Well then, where to next? Morgana and Pantheon apparently have a new type of cupcake in stock."

"Y-Yeah, sounds good."

Ahri crossed her fingers as the two Demacians began to walk past them, shifting her weight excitedly between her feet. "C'mon, Shyvy, I'm rootin' for you..." She whispered.

As a hybrid between a human and a dragon, Shyvana was able to pick up sounds that normal people couldn't pick up on. The Half-Dragon was able to hear Ahri's cajoling perfectly fine from where she was, and colored a little deeper before swallowing. _Oh, what the hell have I got to lose?_ "J-Jarvan?"

The prince turned around, blinking. "Muh?"

"I've... got to tell you something... important."

The fourth Jarvan scratched his chin. "Important? Well, I thought I'd put the kingdom's affairs to the side for the evening, but you seem pretty serious about this. Ask away."

Taric silently pulled out his phone and fired off a quick message. The two matchmakers felt a tremor behind them not ten seconds later, and they turned to see Pantheon strolling out of a small crater towards them. Ahri squinted at the Aspect, confused. "Panth? What are you-"

"Do you have your shield, Pantheon?" Taric asked, looking gloomily at the Aspect of War.

The Targonian raised his aegis helpfully. "Well, yeah. You want me to hit you again?"

"In the near future, most likely."

"Shut up, guys, it's getting good!" Ahri hissed, before going back to staring at the couple intently.

"I, uh... think I should have told you this a long time ago, but..." Shyvana averted her eyes, almost ashamed to say the next three words.

Jarvan looked at her with concern. "But what? There's nothing to be afraid about. Just tell me."

"I... I... L-"

 **"WOOO-HOOO! THIS DRAGON SORCERESS SKIN IS THE FRIGGIN' BEST!"**

Jarvan spun around, shocked. Shyvana's heart sank. Ahri gasped. Taric began looking at Pantheon expectantly.

Tearing through the market were the five dragons of Summoner's Rift, destroying everything in sight as terrified shoppers and merchants ran for their lives. And on the back of the Elder Dragon was Zyra, who was currently in her Dragon Sorceress getup.

 **"OH, YEAH, BABY! MORE, MORE, MORE!"** Zyra cackled madly, clearly enjoying the power she held over the beasts that were currently ravaging the market district.

Ahri jumped out of cover, orb at the ready with Taric in pursuit. "Jarvan! Shyv!" She called getting their attention.

"Ahri? Taric? What are you… Bah! This isn't the time! What in hell's name has gotten into her?!" Jarvan demanded, pointing at the mage in a panic.

"Well, er…" Ahri squinted hard at the woman on the dragon's back, and then grimaced. "Ah, shit, she's drunk again."

Taric stared at her, dumbfounded. "Drunk?! Who goes drinking at 5PM?!"

"Hey, she drinks maple syrup, so, she's technically _not_ drinking, you know? I mean, she still gets drunk, but at the end of the day..." After seeing the prince and Aspects' expressions of distaste, she sighed. "Okay, so, how do we stop her?"

"Well," Pantheon said, stepping forward. "We could try going for her first, since she's the one controlling the dragons. Take her down, and the beasts will hopefully calm down. However, we'll be forced to deal with all of them at once."

"Alternatively, we could eliminate each dragon at once, before finally targeting Zyra," Jarvan suggested. "It will be safer, but it will take longer. Your thoughts?"

Taric cleared his throat. "Well, I feel like we should play it safe and take down the dragons one by one. We'll also have to prioritize the safety of the peo-" Taric's HexPhone began to ring. "Excuse me," he said, answering the call. "Hello? Ah, Tristana. Yes, I'm here. Huh? Oh... okay. Thank you then." Taric put the phone away, a desolate expression on his face.

"Something wrong, Taric?" Ahri asked, worried.

"Tristana called. Those dragons are apparently the blueprints for the dragons on the Rift. The Institute keeps them in captivity, and modifies them whenever they feel that a nerf or a buff is in order. And Tristana has just told me that they are to be kept alive at all costs."

"Ah, damn it," Jarvan growled. After looking around, he grabbed a metal pole to act as a makeshift lance. "Oh, well, onwards, men! Pantheon, with me. We try and strike Zyra. Taric, Ahri, cover us and prevent the dragons from getting in our way. Let's go!" With that, the prince and the Aspect of War, charged at the group of dragons.

"Ahri, we have to go," Taric said, hefting Bravado.

"I know, but…" She looked sadly at Shyvana, who looked utterly crushed. The despondent Half-Dragon stared vacantly at her prince duck underneath a jet of flames, obviously miserable from having her very first date with the man she loved utterly and thoroughly ruined.

"We can patch this up later. Right now, we have to buy Jarvan and Pantheon time." Sighing, Ahri followed the Shield of Valoran into the fray, leaving Shyvana on her own.

* * *

The hybrid continued to stare at the madness in front of bleakly. _Why? Why can't I ever get close to him? This one time, just once, I feel like I can actually do it, tell him how I feel, but then… but then…_

"So are you just going to stand there and mope, or what?"

Shyvana spun around to see LeBlanc watching her expectantly. "What are you doing here, Noxian? Here to mock me for bungling a simple date?"

"Well, no. And I'm saying the truth here."

Shyvana sighed. "Look at me. I'm just a fool who can't even muster up the courage to say three words to a man. And just when I feel like things are looking up, everything goes to hell. Is it just not meant to be?"

"Hey, c'mon, shit happens. No relationship ever happens without a few bumps in the road or a few lows. It doesn't matter if it's one person's fault, or the other person's fault, or neither of their faults to begin with. Couples take whatever crap life throws at them together, supporting each other all the way. This is the crap I'm talking about. The question is, are you going to just let him handle a bunch of bloodthirsty serpents all on his lonesome? Or are you going to get in there and help him through this?"

Shyvana paused, and then clenched her fist and growled. _I am such a fool_. Her prince was risking his life, challenging five dragons and a sorceress with only a baker, seductress, and ambiguously gay man to help him. Meanwhile, she was just standing there feeling sorry for herself. _Maybe it doesn't matter if I get him to love me. As long as he's happy, alive, and well, maybe that's good enough._ Her fist became enveloped in flames as she began stalking off towards the melee.

"Oh, and Shyvana?" LeBlanc called, making Shyvana look over her shoulder with a feral glint in her eye.

"Teach her to fuck with a dragon on her first date."

* * *

"Taric! Please, help!" Ahri screamed, sprinting away from a pursuing Cloud drake in horror.

Taric gritted his teeth as he conjured a shield to protect himself from a blast of flames. "I have my hands full here! What is it?!"

"I thought charming the dragon would be a good idea! And now it's chasing me all creepy like it's from one of the mangas under Irelia's bed and **HEEEEEEEELP!"** She shrieked as the beast knocked down an entire line of stalls in a bid to get to the gumiho.

"What?! You know that your charms are more powerful off the Rift! Why in the Protector's name did you decide to use them?!" The Aspect fired a beam of light into the Infernal Drake's eyes, making it roar in pain.

"I've never charmed that thing on the Rift before! I thought it wouldn't do anything this bad!" She bawled, dodging yet another charge from the Drake.

"Idiots..." Pantheon muttered, blocking a blast of water from the Ocean Drake before jabbing his spear into the Mountain Drake's face.

" **ZYRA!** Get down from there this instant!" Jarvan roared, slamming his pole into the Elder Dragon's face as the Rise of the Thorns cackled drunkenly.

"Oh, hey, its Jar-Jar! Yousa prince! Mesa sorceress!" Zyra continued cackling as the dragon reared up to let loose a swathe of flames.

Ahri looked behind her, and her eyes bugged out to see the Cloud Drake gaining on her with every step. **"NO NO NO NO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH"** She shut her eyes and screamed as the dragon made a massive lunge for her.

 **"SIT DOWN!"** Shyvana roared, slinging a massive punch into the cloud dragon's maw, sending it sprawling from the sheer force of the blow. A few more weak roars, and it was down for the count.

 **"WHO'S NE-** Gah!" Shyvana stumbled as Ahri latched onto her like a leech.

 **"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKY-"** With a growl, Shyvana plucked off the fox and dumped her onto the ground before charging the Mountain Drake.

"Onward!" Pantheon shouted, slamming his shield between the dragon's eyes. The Aspect of War took a knee, raising his shield, allowing the Half-Dragon to vault off the aegis and deliver a devastating blow to the dragon's skull, knocking it out cold.

"Help Taric! I have this!" Shyvana nodded before sprinting off in the direction of the Gem Knight's duel with the Infernal Drake. With a yell, Pantheon took to the skies, crashing down moments later onto the Ocean Drake's head, defeating it instantly. "That's right! Teach you to fuck with a Dragonslayer!"

"Vigor!" Taric yelled, marking the hybrid with a shield. Shyvana ran through a fireball without even flinching, roaring as she delivered a decisive uppercut to the Drake's jaw, putting it out of commission.

"Dragon-on-dragon action! Get her!" Zyra screamed, turning the Elder Dragon's attention to the Half-Dragon. With a mighty roar, the dragon reared its head, ready to turn Shyvana into cinders.

"Shyvana! Look ou-" Jarvan called out to the dragoness, before Taric held his shoulder.

"Don't worry. She's got this." Taric nodded at Shyvana, who responded with a toothy grin. The Half-Dragon become engulfed in the massive jet of purple flames from the Elder Dragon's maw, vanishing from view as the flames apparently consumed her.

And out of the blaze flew Shyvana's dragon form, roaring vehemently at her rival on the dragon in front of her.

Ahri gaped. "Jeez, Taric, with an ult that broken you'd think you'd be banned more often."

"Actually, a summoner by the name of F0URCE who mains me got hit by a such a ban. He was so helplessly upset, and ended up losing the game after being forced to pick Sona, who he only plays normals with. Did I mention that it was a ranked game? And just after he climbed out of Bronze 5..."

The gumiho winced. "Ouch."

Shyvana breathed a blast of fire, which exploded onto the Elder Dragon's face, making it stumble and nearly knocking Zyra off. "Whoa whoa whoa! Watch where you're-" Zyra blinked and looked around. "Hey, where did she g-" The mage then noticed she was standing in a dragon-shaped shadow. "Oh crap."

Shyvana converted back to human form as she free-fell towards the panicking sorceress, wreathed in flames as she prepared a punch with a burning fist. **"TEACH YOU TO FUCK WITH A DRAGON ON HER FIRST DATE!"** Shyvana roared, before finally reaching Zyra and slugging her in the face with an immensely powerful strike, blowing her clean off the Elder Dragon's back, smashing through various stalls before finally rolling to a halt, completely unconscious.

"Holy crap, Shyv, that was awesome!" Ahri cheered, with mutters of awed assent from the men.

"Uh, hey, Shyv? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Jarvan looked somewhat uneasy as Shyvana walked up to him.

"D-Do you need something?" Shyvana asked. She bit her bottom lip, trying to hide her flustered expression.

"You said that this was your first date." Shyvana froze, before mentally swearing to herself that LeBlanc would die the second she left the market district.

"You... considered this a date?" Jarvan asked, now looking a little flustered himself.

"Well... yes," Shyvana murmured, averting her eyes.

"So... does that mean... you like me, or something?"

Shyvana may not have been able to say three words. However, she was capable of saying one. "...Yeah," Shyvana murmured, her face turning a brilliant violet.

"Wah... I..." Jarvan scratched his head, now thoroughly embarrassed. "Oh, gods, Shyvana, I thought you were mad at me this entire time, and I... Oh gods, I am a fool..."

"How could I ever be angry with you, Jarvan? You gave me a home, you gave me friends, people I can consider family, you even gave me purpose to keep living after you helped me take my mother down. After all that, how could I possibly be angry with you?"

"I dunno, I just saw you talking in this low voice all the time and burning the ground wherever you walked and I thought you were mad, and..." Jarvan sighed. "I didn't think you were in love with me."

A small smile appeared on Shyvana's lips. "Well... I guess you know now."

Jarvan paused, before taking a deep breath. "Shyvana, I'd like it if we did this more often. These dates."

Taric began kicking over some debris in a rage as Pantheon struggled to keep him at bay. "Denser than twenty bricks put together, but he's this bold?! How does this make any sense at all?!"

Shyvana's eyes bugged out. "Wh-Wha... Why?"

"Now that I actually know how you feel about me, I know why you acted the way you did. And you're a great person, and we've been through so much together, and I'd love to get to know you more. As a couple." Jarvan's face began to color as he said the last few words.

"Oh, Jarvan, I'd love to!" Shyvana laughed, wrapping her arms around the prince as he awkwardly returned the hug. The two Demacians began making their way through the ravaged market district, eager to see what the future held for them, not as allies or friends, but as a couple.

"I... guess that settles it," Ahri said, stunned by the display in front of her.

Taric groaned and rubbed his temples. "At long last... I was beginning to think that Jarvan's density would make all of this for naught."

"Well," Pantheon said, stretching his spear arm. "I've gotta run. Morg wanted me to help her bake a cake for Annie's tea party with the Yordles, so I guess I'll see two later then." After saying their goodbyes, Pantheon took flight once more, back to his bakery and favorite fallen angel.

"Ohhh, man, I'm beat. I'm never charming anything off the Rift again..."

"Sounds about right. I can't imagine being chased by a lovestruck dragon..." The two friends and matchmakers continued to exchanged exhausted banter as the two headed back to their office, aching for some rest after the evening's chaotic events.

* * *

"Well, I'll have to commend you on this one. You two did quite the stellar job." Aurelion Sol's projection nodded in approval as the two matchmakers beamed.

Ahri giggled. "Awww, it was nothing, Sol. I'm happy we've gotten Shyv and Jarvan together. It turns out that they were a perfect match!"

The Gem Knight nodded. "As infuriating as the man can be at times, I wish the prince all the be-" Taric was cut off as the door burst open, and Xin Zhao stumbled in once again, looking even more haggard and even more annoyed than before. The Seneschal of Demacia was crying, manly tears streaming down his masculine face.

"Holy crap, Xin, what the hell happened to you?!" Ahri exclaimed, rushing over to help the weary warrior.

"It's Jarvan!" Xin bawled. "I thought it was bad before, but now it's even worse! He refuses to shut up about Shyvana! He talks about everything, the way she eats, the way she snuggles, even the way she sneezes! I... I just..." The ex-gladiator began sobbing uncontrollably in Ahri's arms as the bewildered gumiho awkwardly attempted to console him. Taric held his face in hands, groaning. Aurelion Sol's booming laughter reverberated all throughout the office.

All in all, an average assignment for the two matchmakers.

* * *

 **A/N: BACK FROM THE DEAD, BOYS**

This chapter had been in development hell since last year. I remember writing about everything until the date, and then I just started drawing a complete blank for some reason. Well, at least it's finished now.

Anyway, I guess this is the first 'mainstream' ship, the kind that's popular and well known throughout the fanbase. Not that it'll make me stop doing obscure ships that seem to work themselves out on my end, but I will be doing some more well-known ships.

I also like to mention that I'm eventually going to make an overhaul of all the previous chapters. Aside from various formatting errors that I haven't rectified, like in my first two chapters of this fic, I wanted to put more focus on Taric and Ahri and what they're doing in each chapter. I feel like there was a fundamental flaw with my previous chapters, where I'd focus too much on their clients and not on them, because it ultimately conflicts with my vision of a the antics of a fabulous man and a fox girl as they try and sort out everyone's relationship woes. It made me **extremely** reluctant to put out more chapters, and I've even considered dropping the fic altogether. Fortunately, I feel like I've sorted every issue I may have had in this chapter, so don't worry about a thing.

I also have an admittedly crack headcanon that Lux is into Yaoi and that Irelia is a closeted perv, but hey, that's just me.

And by the way, that thing about the Taric ban was actually real. Shit hurts, man. And in case you're wondering, F0URCE isn't my actual Summoner Name in League. Finding me's not going to be that easy, hue hue hue.

On another note, my exam gauntlet starts next month, and goes through the entirety of May, so don't expect any updates next month. I'll update my bio accordingly, and hopefully I'll be able to update my other two stories before I inevitably have to go back to my coffin.

Anyway, thanks again for reading, and feel free to leave a comment about your thoughts and who you'd like to see in the next chapter. I'll be seeing you guys.


End file.
